Tuesday, March 4, 2014

MY kid.

Being that most of my friends procreated before me (damn you, infertility!) I have seen it a million times before: super cool fun friend suddenly has nothing to say that doesn't involve their new super duper cool baby, their Facebook feed turns into post after post of that said "super cool" baby did that day... and I'm not even talking things like cure cancer or end world hunger... but for some reason the fact their kid dropped a log in the toilet rather than their pants is some massive accomplishment. Depending on the friend this may or may not include a picture of their kid sitting on the pot in all their bare-bottomed glory.Rolling my eyes I'd think "DUDE, we get it. You like.... made a human and you think it's really cool and all and you want to share it with the world because for SOME reason you think your kid is way cooler than the bajillion other kids in the world. I totally get being proud. In Jr. High I once painted a watercolor picture of an island scene and it was really cool and if I had facebook then I'd totally have posted it... but not every single damn day!"  I would then realize that I had absolutely nothing in common with said friend anymore, and move on vowing that someday when I had kids, I'd only share the really awesome stuff and not become "that mom."

But then this crazy thing happened. I got pregnant. And I had a baby. Like, a really super duper cool baby. And now I post really weird crap, like pictures of breastmilk (twice, actually.) and photo memes about babies and parenting and the mere mentioning of breastfeeding in public, circumcision, or cloth diapering are enough for my soapbox to creep out of the closet. (I mean, on the rare occasion it even makes it TO the closet. I generally leave my soap box right in the middle of the floor, you know, in case someone needs to hear a bit of my infinite wisdom.) I post pictures of Chase daily.... because today's smile is pretty much completely different than yesterday's.

But surely no one is rolling their eyes at my updates like I have towards others so many times. Surely not. Because everything Chase does is super duper cool.
He's not like other babies.
He smiles cuter.
He laughs cuter.
And somehow, when his face is covered in vile, white chunky baby puke, he's still adorable.
His ears are the cutest ears I've ever seen. And those toes. OH and that bum... seriously guys, dangerously cute bum warning on this baby.
Because he's MY kid.
I made him. (Jon helped jump start it but trust me, I take 99.99% credit)
And he's way cooler than any island painting I've ever made. (But seriously, it WAS pretty awesome. It even had a pink sailboat.)

See, guys. See how that smile is like 500% different than the OTHER smile?! 
And now, well... now I get it. I get why all those moms I know were suddenly undeniably convinced that their kid was so super duper cool. Because kids ARE super duper cool. Even when they're not. That's something I never could wrap my head around before having my own. I don't think anyone can. So now, as I scroll my feed and I see "Oh look, little Johnny went to the zoo today and here are 1384723846723 pictures of his first time there!" I smile. I think, "I can't wait to post 1273632469314 pictures of Chase's first trip to the zoo!"

Because he's MY kid.
So, bare with me. Something tells me that this chapter of my life, the baby-having chapter, is going to make me really annoying.

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