Sunday, November 17, 2013

Annoying Moms on Facebook

Every now and then I stumble across things that I just have to say something about. Today is one of those days. As I was sitting here waiting for my mom to finish her shower (because in case you haven't heard, Jon and I are living with her for the time being. It's nice. There's laundry service.) browsing Facebook, someone had posted a link to a blog of annoying things new moms do on Facebook. Said link was accompanied by a comment about how this person was so upset about what the blogger wrote. I know new moms on FB are annoying. It's comical really. I try not to flood the feed with pictures but dangit I grew a human being- a really damn cute one- and I just can't help it.
I thought to myself, "Gee, it's a shame so many people are so easily offended. Who cares what some blogger things. New moms on Facebook DO post some pretty stupid things, we're annoying.... myself included. Heck, I posted about a chin fat roll this morning, and six weeks ago posted a picture of 2mL of breast milk. So, I clicked the link. You can read the link here. (Tanya.... see how "here" is a different color? That's the link. You can click it.)

So, I'm reading along. Ten annoying things new moms post on Facebook.
Oh, haha, ultrasound pictures, YUP, I was totally guilty of that.
Oh hey, pee sticks. Nope. Didn't post pictures of those other than the actual results window. So half guilty.
Hmm, bodily functions... I don't think I mentioned the bajillion times I did in fact pee my pants, might have mentioned heartburn thought, so maybe I'm a little guilty there. Darn. I am, however, innocent in regards to posting things about HIS bodily functions, but if you must know.... he has had suppositories and enemas, with massive success. Though he did have a fairly impressive man fart last night. Go Chase!
I haven't posted about sick kids.
Though I did my biweekly belly shot for the blog (well, OK, I really kind of failed at actually DOING them...) I certainly never posted bare selfies all the time. Innocent there!

So I'm just laughing along, knowing full well I'm guilty of many of these, and not really caring what most people think because it's my Facebook and I'm just not really one to worry about if people like my stuff or not. I couldn't figure out why someone would be offended by this post.

Then I got to number six. The number six most annoying thing new moms post on Facebook.

6. Babies with tubes hooked up to them.Am I the only one that thinks this is upsetting? Moms, we know you can’t wait to show the world your sweet infant, but for the love of God and humanity, can you not wait until he/she is healthy? Your friends and family hope you have a healthy child and are praying for you, but it doesn’t make anyone feel joy to see that innocent little thing hooked up to a bunch of tubes. It makes us feel sad. For the baby. And for you.
And for the record, sharing personal matters is what email, texts, and phone calls are designed for.

And I actually felt angry. I am NOT one to choose to be offended by how other people think/ feel. (Yes, I believe taking offense is a choice.) But this mentality makes me angry. Really angry.
The first week of his life, my baby had nine different tubes/ wires connected to his little 2 1/2 lb body as he literally fought for his life.  Did he not deserve to be shared with friends and family? Is his life not every bit as important as those fat, beautiful, healthy full- term babies on the 4th floor of the hospital? And it boggles my mind that someone ELSE would be offended by the fact MY baby isn't healthy. Life isn't butterflies and rainbows all the time. Old people fall. Babies get sick. Life
isn't fair, and you know what... NO. NO I can't wait until he is healthy because here, in reality, some babies never DO get healthy. Some babies don't ever go home. What an incredibly selfish person.

I hope Chase's photos haven't offended anyone, but if they have- I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry if someone has made the conscious decision to be upset with me for sharing his struggles and progress. I'm OK with being an annoying mom on Facebook. I use it to share with friends and family how we are doing, and I make no apologies. Do you have any idea what it's liked to feel robbed of a normal newborn experience? I didn't get to hold my baby when he was born. I didn't even get to SEE him for half a day, or HOLD him for nearly a week. Do you know what it's like to go home without your newborn? To have to ask permission to touch or hold him? To have him taken away from your arms because he's not breathing, and his heart rate is dropping? NICU moms are robbed of so many firsts and experiences with their sick babies. I don't want pity- we are one of the lucky ones. My baby will come home. Some aren't that fortunate. It makes me sick to think some folks think those babies don't deserve to be celebrated and shared with the world.
So if this little face offends you, I really very strongly suggest you remove yourself from my friends list, because I have absolutely every intention of posting every milestone and update. It's one of the easiest ways to share with actual family and friends (people who DO care about him) how he's doing. I will not worry myself about if each picture has "too many" tubes and wires. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of his strength and how much progress he's made. I'm proud of him for kicking his cannula to the curb, and I'm proud of him even if he needs it again someday. I'm proud of him for beating his infection, and if he needs an IV for antibiotics again guess what!? Still proud of him. So I will sit down here, in a rocking chair, snuggling my perfect son, snapping all kinds of pictures, and posting as many as I damn well please.

Am I worried about being an annoying mom on Facebook? Not so much.

Stay tuned for the breastfeeding selfies. We're still learning.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Thirty Days of Thanks

Halloween is over. That means my enthusiasm for the Christmas season is slightly less frowned upon now... and you bet I'm already excited. I can't wait for the house to be put together so I can deck the halls with all kinds of holly jolly goodness. Jon is working so hard, and it's getting so close... it's just such a time consuming process.
I'm going to do a whole update on Chase here soon... he's a whole month old today. A MONTH! Can you believe that?! But that's not what this post is. This post is my November crap-I'm-thankful-for post. I know most people do it daily on Facebook, but life is so hectic I don't always get around to that.

So, for every day of November:

1. I'm thankful for my husband, Jon. Because he is my rock, my sanity, my eternal companion, and one of the most respectable people I've ever met. I'm so lucky to have such a hard working man in my corner. I'm so proud of all that he's accomplished this year, and there's absolutely no one else I'd rather be on this journey through life and beyond with. I simply don't tell how amazing he is enough. He challenges me, he drives me nuts, but at the end of the day I know he'd do absolutely anything for our family and I am SO blessed to have someone like that in my life.

2. I'm thankful for my son, Chase. I never imagined I could love someone this unconditionally. The things
he's taught me about life, myself, and love in the last month surpass everything I thought I knew my entire 24 years of life. Without trying, he inspires me to be a better person- to be a better wife to my husband, to be a better friend, to be the best mom I possibly can be... because he deserves that. He deserves the best, and because of that I'm inspired to always better myself. I'm so incredibly proud of the progress he's made, I'm amazed how strong and determined he is. But mostly.... mostly I just love him. Wholly, completely, and unconditionally. I'm thankful God trusted me with this perfect little person. (not to be confused with an actual "little person." He's not a midget. Just a tiny human being.)

3. I'm thankful for my family. All of them. I remember my mom used to tell me (when I was a bratty teenager) that someday I would realize that my family loves me. Boy was she right. How did I not see this back then? I have been blessed with an incredible family, full of wonderful examples and so much love. My mom, grandparents, and siblings truly are my favorite people in the world and there's no one else I'd rather spend my time with. I love our family vacations, I love Sunday dinner, and I love our little traditions.... and not just because I totally dig boating, free food, and Christmas pajamas... but because I love my family.

4.  I'm thankful for my home. It's not new, and it's not fancy. The basement floods from time to time and the windows need replacing. But, it's home. It holds 2.5 years of memories, and is the place we will grow our family. It's where Chase will learn to crawl, and walk. It's where Jon and I will learn how to be parents.  I'm thankful we have a place to call home at a time that many people do not. Even with all its imperfections, I'm thankful for my home.

5. I am thankful for my dogs. I know no one else really gets what they mean to me, and I'm so lucky that Jon loves them too. They bring so much love and joy into our home. They have been our little family for the last 4 years, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't think I've been a very good "dog mom" this year, as we tried to move (which was mostly to better accommodate them!) and then tore our house apart, they've spent way too much time boarding. They're such troopers though. I adore them. They're simply a part of me. Especially Annie, whom I'm not even sure how I made it 20 years without.

6. I'm thankful for my staff at Ruff House. What incredible people. I'm not sure how they manage to put up with such an incompetent "boss" but when I count my blessings, I count my staff twice. They are the heart of Ruff House- they make it the great place it is, and I owe them so much. I don't think I could ever adequately express my appreciation for how hard they work, and how much heart and soul they put into it. It does not go unnoticed!

7. I'm thankful for Ruff House, and Jon's job at Intermountain. I know a lot of people are out of work right now and it makes me feel even more blessed that Jon has stable full-time work. Not only that, but we are fortunate enough to own a business that despite the fact neither of us are business-savvy by ANY stretch of the imagination continues to thrive. We aren't rich by any means- probably never will be, but that's OK. We are blessed, and I'm so thankful.

8. I'm thankful for Facebook. As silly as it sounds... I am! It makes it so much easier to keep in touch with people that matter- especially since Chase was born. I love reading updates from friends and family, especially from my sister in Texas. This year I've gotten to know a few great people better through Facebook, too! Yay new friends!

9. I'm thankful for my midwife, Sheri. Not only was she a wealth of information through my pregnancy, but the emotional support and security I found in her care can be passed by none. She's amazing. I did not ultimately have the birth experience I had hoped for, but even at the hospital and after, she's been right there for me. I'm AWFUL at keeping her updated and keeping in touch, but it's my hope that she knows how much I mean it when I say I'm so thankful for all she's done for me, which is more than she'll ever know.

10.  I'm thankful for medicine and technology. How lucky are we to live in a time with so many advancements in technology and medicine?! Anyone who knows me knows I try to avoid medicine, doctors, and hospitals at all costs but boy am I thankful it's there when it's TRULY needed. Thanks to medicine and technology my son will live.

11. I'm thankful for people. Yes, people. I must say, having a positive attitude and outlook isn't something that just comes naturally to me. I can not tell you how many times I've been overwhelmingly touched by the genuine care, concern, and support shown by SO many people since Chase was born. People I haven't spoken to in years- friends of my siblings and mom- complete strangers, they all crept out of the woodwork with nothing but prayers, positive vibes, and well wishes for our family. My faith in humanity is honestly restored. People are GOOD. Please know how much it has meant to Jon and I. Chase's positive progress is no doubt in part thanks to his cheerleaders out there keeping him in mind.

12. I am thankful for access to clean water and food. So many people don't have these very basic things.

13. I'm thankful for my friends. New and old. The few that are like family and the ones I am just getting to know. I'm so lucky to have such awesome people in my life.

14.  I'm thankful for country music. It's true. I love the stories it tells, the memories it holds, and the fact that it has the ability to just make me feel happy just because. <3

15. I'm thankful for Ellen DeGeneres. No, for real... because sometimes you just need to flippin laugh, and she does the trick every single time.

16. I'm thankful for military families- not just the men and women fighting for our freedoms, but their families who are also sacrificing so much every time their loved one goes away with no promises of returning.

17. I am thankful for my testimony of eternal families. I can not tell you how much this has comforted me this month. I love knowing that my family, Chase included, have the opportunity to be together forever. I love my family so much, my only fear is that forever isn't long enough. How wonderful it is to know that there never has to be a goodbye, not really. Even moreso, I'm thankful that my mom and Danny loved our family enough to live life in a way that gave us the opportunity to be sealed. I will NEVER forget how strongly I felt that day, and it's my hope they won't either. I'm glad I have such a great priesthood-holding husband and that Chase was able to be born into an eternal family.

18. I am thankful for the gospel. I wasn't going to get all religious and sappy, but really I just can't make a list of the things I'm thankful for and NOT mention these things. I'm not perfect, goodness knows I stray, but at the end of the day peace, comfort, and joy are to be found in the gospel.

19. I'm thankful for NICU nurses. Even the ones that annoy me. I'm glad there are people who can emotionally handle that job because I never could. Without his nurses, Chase wouldn't stand a chance, and I am so appreciative of their patience with me as I try to navigate this journey and learn about all the things that come with having a very premature baby.

20. I am thankful to be American, and the freedoms and rights that come along with that. It makes me so sad to see our current president threaten our rights and freedoms with his screwed up agenda, but that doesn't change the fact I'm darn proud to be an American! SO many people live without the right to vote, or freedom of religion.

21. I am thankful for my knowledge in nutrition. Though I continue to learn, I am thankful for the things I do know about nutrition. I am thankful that Chase will be able to have a better start because I know what I do. I'm thankful that I know the healing power of real foods, and that I know how to use them to heal my body naturally. It makes me sad how little the general public knows about food... and how in turn very little of what they eat is actually food!

22. I am thankful to live where I do. As much as Utah culture annoys me sometimes, I can't help but feel blessed to live in such a great place. I love our distinct beautiful seasons, (though Fall and Spring are entirely too short!) I love the safety and security of a low violent crime rate- perhaps because so many Utards are too drugged out on RX pain killers watching porn? (Utah has the highest rate of RX drug abuse and porn addiction. How funny.) I love the real sense of community even though I'm not the best at being neighborly. Are there other places I like to think I'd rather live? Well yes. (Looking at you, Northern Idaho!) But when it comes down to it, the proximity to family and all this place has to offer just can't be beat for me.

23. I am thankful for my sense of humor. I'm not sure how I could get through life if it weren't for being able to stop and laugh at myself every now and then. :-) I love making my family laugh... though to be fair they're a pretty easy crowd, but I'll take it!

24. I'm thankful for the examples of motherhood in my life. I'm trying to learn this new foreign role to me. It's a difficult task to navigate with the completely unnatural setting of NICU with rules and hovering nurses, but I'm trying. I'm so thankful for the AMAZING women in my life who are such shining examples of the kind of mom I aspire to be.

25. I'm thankful for books and the ability to read. Despite the fact my nieces and nephews were convinced I didn't know how to read for the longest time, I can. I love reading! I love relaxing with a good novel, and I love picking up a book and learning something new. I can't imagine a life without books!

26. I'm thankful for my past. I really am. Yes I did a lot of stupid things and made some terrible choices (Portland, anyone?)  Through many less-than-ideal experiences I feel like I've gained an irreplaceable perspective on so many things, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. It's made me who I am, and quite frankly, I LIKE who I am. It's hard not to since I'm so awesome and all.

27. I am thankful for doTerra oils and the quick relief they bring my body time and time again!

28. I'm thankful for all the support SO MANY people have shown our family. There's no doubt in my mind that much of Chase's speedy progress is due to all the people praying and rooting for him. I didn't realize how many people cared, I didn't realize that people are just that good. It has been a blessing in so many ways to our family.

29. I'm thankful for all the help family and friends have given as we've put our house back together. We never imagined our renovations would take so long or be so difficult. I feel as if our decision to stay put amounted to a whole lot of work for a whole lot of people. I feel so bad for that, but I'm SO SO thankful for the countless hours people pitched in and helped us with plumbing, electrical, moving stuff around, and so much more. We really never could have pulled these projects together without everyone's help and though we are officially two and a half months past our original goal deadline, it would have NEVER gotten completed if so many hadn't been so willing to help when I know for a fact there were a million other important things on their plates.

30. I'm thankful for cows. Because I like to drink their milk and eat their flesh. Nom nom nom.