Sunday, November 17, 2013

Annoying Moms on Facebook

Every now and then I stumble across things that I just have to say something about. Today is one of those days. As I was sitting here waiting for my mom to finish her shower (because in case you haven't heard, Jon and I are living with her for the time being. It's nice. There's laundry service.) browsing Facebook, someone had posted a link to a blog of annoying things new moms do on Facebook. Said link was accompanied by a comment about how this person was so upset about what the blogger wrote. I know new moms on FB are annoying. It's comical really. I try not to flood the feed with pictures but dangit I grew a human being- a really damn cute one- and I just can't help it.
I thought to myself, "Gee, it's a shame so many people are so easily offended. Who cares what some blogger things. New moms on Facebook DO post some pretty stupid things, we're annoying.... myself included. Heck, I posted about a chin fat roll this morning, and six weeks ago posted a picture of 2mL of breast milk. So, I clicked the link. You can read the link here. (Tanya.... see how "here" is a different color? That's the link. You can click it.)

So, I'm reading along. Ten annoying things new moms post on Facebook.
Oh, haha, ultrasound pictures, YUP, I was totally guilty of that.
Oh hey, pee sticks. Nope. Didn't post pictures of those other than the actual results window. So half guilty.
Hmm, bodily functions... I don't think I mentioned the bajillion times I did in fact pee my pants, might have mentioned heartburn thought, so maybe I'm a little guilty there. Darn. I am, however, innocent in regards to posting things about HIS bodily functions, but if you must know.... he has had suppositories and enemas, with massive success. Though he did have a fairly impressive man fart last night. Go Chase!
I haven't posted about sick kids.
Though I did my biweekly belly shot for the blog (well, OK, I really kind of failed at actually DOING them...) I certainly never posted bare selfies all the time. Innocent there!

So I'm just laughing along, knowing full well I'm guilty of many of these, and not really caring what most people think because it's my Facebook and I'm just not really one to worry about if people like my stuff or not. I couldn't figure out why someone would be offended by this post.

Then I got to number six. The number six most annoying thing new moms post on Facebook.

6. Babies with tubes hooked up to them.Am I the only one that thinks this is upsetting? Moms, we know you can’t wait to show the world your sweet infant, but for the love of God and humanity, can you not wait until he/she is healthy? Your friends and family hope you have a healthy child and are praying for you, but it doesn’t make anyone feel joy to see that innocent little thing hooked up to a bunch of tubes. It makes us feel sad. For the baby. And for you.
And for the record, sharing personal matters is what email, texts, and phone calls are designed for.

And I actually felt angry. I am NOT one to choose to be offended by how other people think/ feel. (Yes, I believe taking offense is a choice.) But this mentality makes me angry. Really angry.
The first week of his life, my baby had nine different tubes/ wires connected to his little 2 1/2 lb body as he literally fought for his life.  Did he not deserve to be shared with friends and family? Is his life not every bit as important as those fat, beautiful, healthy full- term babies on the 4th floor of the hospital? And it boggles my mind that someone ELSE would be offended by the fact MY baby isn't healthy. Life isn't butterflies and rainbows all the time. Old people fall. Babies get sick. Life
isn't fair, and you know what... NO. NO I can't wait until he is healthy because here, in reality, some babies never DO get healthy. Some babies don't ever go home. What an incredibly selfish person.

I hope Chase's photos haven't offended anyone, but if they have- I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry if someone has made the conscious decision to be upset with me for sharing his struggles and progress. I'm OK with being an annoying mom on Facebook. I use it to share with friends and family how we are doing, and I make no apologies. Do you have any idea what it's liked to feel robbed of a normal newborn experience? I didn't get to hold my baby when he was born. I didn't even get to SEE him for half a day, or HOLD him for nearly a week. Do you know what it's like to go home without your newborn? To have to ask permission to touch or hold him? To have him taken away from your arms because he's not breathing, and his heart rate is dropping? NICU moms are robbed of so many firsts and experiences with their sick babies. I don't want pity- we are one of the lucky ones. My baby will come home. Some aren't that fortunate. It makes me sick to think some folks think those babies don't deserve to be celebrated and shared with the world.
So if this little face offends you, I really very strongly suggest you remove yourself from my friends list, because I have absolutely every intention of posting every milestone and update. It's one of the easiest ways to share with actual family and friends (people who DO care about him) how he's doing. I will not worry myself about if each picture has "too many" tubes and wires. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of his strength and how much progress he's made. I'm proud of him for kicking his cannula to the curb, and I'm proud of him even if he needs it again someday. I'm proud of him for beating his infection, and if he needs an IV for antibiotics again guess what!? Still proud of him. So I will sit down here, in a rocking chair, snuggling my perfect son, snapping all kinds of pictures, and posting as many as I damn well please.

Am I worried about being an annoying mom on Facebook? Not so much.

Stay tuned for the breastfeeding selfies. We're still learning.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you, Linsay! I have LOVED each and every one of the pictures you have posted. I know I'm not close family, but I have known you since you were a pre-teen -- and, I have loved you for that long. I'm happy and interested in you and your little family. Good for Chase to have such a strong Mama who is so proud of each of your achievements in life. Because each achievement is a milestone and an example to other families who have a premie. I remember when Aaron was so sick when he was little - remember? We were so proud of each thing that showed improvement and hope to us for his full recovery. If we'd have had FB then, we'd surely have posted each day for family and friends who were praying for him to beat that awful cancer. So, Woo Hoo for you - keep it up. We love you all.