Monday, February 3, 2014

Thoughts from a lowly SAHM

An article written by feminist blogger Amy Glass has taken the internet by storm lately. Titled "I Look Down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry" it caught the attention of many- myself included. And, being the outspoken person I am, surely I have a few things to say.

The original article can be read by clicking here. 

Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. 
Excuse me while *I* fight back vomit. I support a woman's RIGHT to choose to not have children and who take on the workforce head strong. Last I checked, I take care of myself. I also take care of my son. Imagine that.
Working isn't easy. Building a career isn't easy. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but that doesn't make parenting any less important. In fact, dare i say that if more women did just that- PARENT- we'd have lower crime, and less trouble making hooligans running about?

Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. ...These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average.

The part of me that struggled and felt EMPTY for MORE THAN THREE YEARS to conceive, all while building a career and running a business just cried a little.
See, the thing is: I've been there. I've had a career. I've worked hard and watched my business grow. We've reaped the success of a thriving small business. I've worked 80 hour weeks. I've dedicated myself to my work so fully my entire life was consumed by it.
I felt nothing short of empty. I did not feel accomplished. I did not feel fulfilled. I did not feel happy. I did not feel in any way successful. Don't get me wrong, I *LOVE* my business and I'm proud of the progress it's made. I'm passionate about it. But at the end of the day, I longed to be a mom. I longed to have babies. That's what I wanted, more than anything. That's what I felt like my calling in life was.
My rad to motherhood was not easy, and three and a half years really is a SHORT road in the heartbreaking reality of infertility that many, many couples face.

You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.

Lies. Lies lies lies. In fact, my role as a business owner is takes away FAR MORE freedom and mobility than my role as a mother. The ignorance in this statement... I can't even.....

 hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.

I've played both roles. I've played the "successful business woman" and currently am playing the "stay at home wife/ mother." Neither role is easy. But really, they aren't even comparable. They have their ups and downs, they have their rewards, their struggles. But at the end of the day it's a whole different lifestyle. I think women should do whatever they feel is right for them. Each individual and situation is different, therefore what is right for each person will be different too.

Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. They are not equal. Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business. This word play is holding us back.
The thing is... the doctor needs clean clothes, no? It takes all different roles to make this world go round.

I think what irks me most about this article is the fact the writer takes what she feels is right for her, and like a giant blanket, applies it to everyone. I mean, SHE feels best when pursuing a career, so EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD TOO!  I felt completely empty while pursuing a career. Should I dedicate my life to it, just because some people place little to no value in anyone who does something as "pointless" as.... oh, I dunno... dedicating their lives to raising the next generation of human beings?! Gosh, how incredibly uninspired of me.

I see this a lot on the internet, actually. People calling themselves feminists who think they are empowering women to do more, be more, accomplish more.... when in reality they are putting down anyone who HEAVEN FORBID actually WANTS to take on that traditional home maker role. If everyone followed their advice the human race would cease to exist in one generation and would therefore be the biggest failure as a species in the history of all time. Real successful, NOT. Why d we have to put down the stay at home mom to empower the working woman? Why do we have to make the working mom feel inadequate to raise the SAHM up? Why can't we just accept that everyone is different, and empower and uplift them ALL for doing what's best for them? Oh... that's right... because that's actually logical and would require folks to actually get over themselves.

I think I'll go make dinner now. From scratch.


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