Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas Photo Shoot, Party of Six!

SO. It's December. Woo hoo. I can't believe the end of the year is all but here, and I'm happy for it to not be totally weird that my house is decorated. But only since Halloween. That's reasonable, right?

so this time of year brings a lot of things. Liiiike.... snow, and shopping. And cold, which I guess goes along with the snow. And, it's Christmas card time. I woke up this morning and thought "Hmm, I should get that picture done while I have time."

I pictured it in my head: all 6 sitting peacefully in front of the tree/ fireplace, ears perfect, focused on me. Shoot, I will take a few and then post them on DFC and get input on which I should use. I mean how hard can it be? My dogs can sit. They can wait. Yup, I've got good dogs, this will be a piece of cake. A little Venison jerky, my nifty  camera. We're set. Let the dogs in!

First, Braxton and Timber run in and jump on the couch.
I call them off.
"Picture time, baby danes!"
I heard them, all 6 of them in front of the tree. Armed with venison jerky.
Kola obsessively sniffs my hand.  Leave it, Kola.
I hold one hand up, right by the camera, armed with treats.
Oh good, they're watching!
"Okay, SIT!"
I'm watching through the viewfinder, this will be fantastic!
6 blank stares come my way
"Kola, Timber, Braxton, Annie, Zailey, Mousse! Sit!"
Half of them sit. Braxton makes sure to move several feet to his right, no longer in the picture. Zailey lays down. Timber looks like someone is about to slaughter her, ears tucked so close to her head she looks likie she doesn't have any. Mousse wanders off to his crate.
We gather then again, this time moving the furniture to block them in a small area.
Their attention spans have run out, and so has my patience, but we're going to get this done.
After all, I have good dogs.
SO, now they're trapped. They can't wander off. woot. I'm a smart, smart dog mom.
Except for, have you ever TRIED to enclose Danes in COUCHES, and then expected them to sit on the floor? It doesn't happen. In fact, Danes have some kind of illogical FEAR of the floor, like if more body parts than the pads of their feet touch it, they might shrivel up and die. They will sit/lay ANYWHERE but the floor. Couch occupied? Dog beds taken? They will find a way.
Case in point:

Alright, off the couches, everyone.
Picture time.
Now they're sick of me.
I'm kinda sick of them too.
Braxton, Kola, and Timber are oddly distracted by the knots in the hardwood floor.
I, in my happiest voice ever put out my secret weapon.
"whooooo wantsssss CHICKIE?!"
Chickie. Why didn't I think of it before? It's their "dinner/food/treat" que.
Zailey perks up. She always does. She's a fat Dane at heart.
Kola looks at me, sweet expression on her face.
Annie yawns.
Braxton walks away.
Timber is still interested in the floor.
Alright, I'm bored.
They're bored.
Time to perk up!
Look guys, it's RAINING treats!
I toss handfuls into the air, making them rain down.
They scramble to get them.
I ponder for a moment on how awesome it would be if it rained Jolly Ranchers.
Alright guys, focus.
They're hudled together, looking at me.
I suddenly don't care that they're not sitting.
I pretend to be about to toss more treats.
 Yes! It's working!
I drop the treat.
Timber inches toward it.
I snap the picture anyway.
Her face is way out of focus.
I look at them.
They look at me.
I suddenly don't care. It will do.
YES! we're done.
Jon put them outside for a minute, started arranging our living room again, while I uploaded them.
I upload them to
Resolution too small.
I could cry. Instead I yell a couple four letter words.
Won't say which, this is a family blog. Hi, Mom!
The camera got put on small. How? Why? My life is OVER!
No big deal, we'll just do it again.
Remember, I've got good dogs.
We're losing light, and good light is my key to good pictures.
I'm an idiot and don't even know how to use my camera with crappy light.
Everything just goes blurry and the shutter speed dies.
A few tries, and we quit.
Their heads are hung.
Annie keeps laying down.
We've all had it for the day.

So, we will do it tomorrow.
I bet Jon is excited.
Maybe I'll even get Santa Hats.
I'm sure it won't take TOO long.
After all, I've got good dogs.

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