Modesty, Slut Shaming, and Accountability.

Hello, huge reader base that I do not have! Ok, more accurately, hi, Tanya.

Trending this week on Facebook is one mom's blog post aimed at teenage girls. It's been shared, posted, and reposted a million times. I read it after seeing it for the millionth time, and while I completely agree with most of her thoughts, something about it super irked me and I couldn't quite put my finger on what, but I figured it out.
You can read the original post here.
Modesty. It's a choice I have made in my own personal life, for my own personal reasons. As a happily married woman, my body is in fact shared with my husband, and not the world because that's the choice that is right for me. I'd feel silly posting half naked photos of myself on the internet- not to mention the fact that no one wants to see that. Trust me. Other women might make other choices, for a whole array of other reasons... and at the end of the day, it's not for me to judge them. I do think a lot of it stems from insecurity, and vying for compliments and attention from whomever will give it to them. I only think this because I personally have been guilty of this in a past life, and that's why. Looking back, I feel silly over the types of pictures of myself I had on my old Facebook account. But, like I said. Past lifetime. Maybe some women post racy pictures because they simply look damn good and want to show it off! Whatever their reason- it's their reason, and their life, not mine.
But at the end of the day, who defines modesty? What, exactly, is a modest appearance? In some cultures, the simple act of women wearing pants is incredibly immodest. In some countries, women go topless and no one bats an eye. American culture is so sexualized... what is and isn't modest is simply a matter of opinion. I am a DD cup size, I'd have to wear turtlenecks to avoid any hint of cleavage on a daily basis. Am I immodest for not doing so? Heck. I skip a bra half the time, (sorry world, I don't really 'do' pain and discomfort in the name of fashion) does having nipples make me immodest?
Today, I stumbled across a response blog post. And it made me realize what it was about the first one that bothered me so much.
You can read the response post here. 
Accountability. That's what the first post forgot. At the end of the day, no matter what the teenage girls are wearing, those boys are still accountable for their thoughts and actions. You can not hide your children from the world. I say this as someone who DOES believe in a clear cut right and wrong in most cases. But I do not believe in imposing MY idea of right and wrong on the lives of everyone around me.
I've noticed this trend, particularly in Christian (and especially UTAH Mormon) culture, of blaming the girls for the boy's thoughts and actions. Let me be clear, I DO intend to raise my daughters with a sense of modesty, to help them understand the messages that they might be sending with how they dress and present themselves, because that is what I believe in. But never would I raise my sons to believe that a female who dresses a certain way does not deserve every ounce of their respect as any other.
Boys and men are not a poor defenseless species unable to be held accountable for their own thoughts and actions. Women's bodies are sexualized for marketing left and right. You can not turn on a TV, walk through a shopping mall, drive down the freeway, or really even step out your front door without seeing examples of it anymore. I'm not saying that makes it ok, but what I'm saying is rather than attempting the impossible task of making sure your boys are never, ever exposed to a revealing photo of the female body, perhaps parents should spend more time teaching their sons the reasons that some women might make those choices, and that how a woman dresses is no excuse to objectify her. I hope that Chase will be respectful of ALL women, not just those who make choices that are directly in line with his beliefs.
Shame. I can't help but wonder, when we make such accusations (girls being held responsible for the thoughts and actions of boys...) what messages we are sending. Body shaming is a huge problem in our culture right now. As if there weren't enough women facing body image issues, now we are praised for teaching our girls that any female who shows more of her body than we deem appropriate is a "slut" "skank" "whore" etc. Then proceed to encourage them to cover up, head to toe, that our bodies are something to be ashamed of. We raise our men to think that any woman exposing whatever we have deemed to be "too much" skin is some kind of tramp that is not deserving of their respect, or even their civil attention. I like to think there's a happy medium. I like to think that it's possible to raise girls with a sense of modesty, whatever that word means in your home, AND possible to raise boys who are still respectful of women who might make different choices, who are accountable for their own actions. We see it all the time in the news, "female assaulted/ raped/ etc. while walking home" and then the comments pour in... "She had it coming, her skirt is too short." "Maybe if she didn't want it she should have covered up." "If she had just covered up it wouldn't have happened." It is disgusting that our culture holds one accountable for another's actions... as if the male involved had no choice. Pathetic. Disgusting.
MY OPINION is that bodies aren't something to be ashamed of, and every inch does not need to be objectified and sexualized to the point men are given a "free pass" to lose control at a moment's glimpse of too much skin. Give your sons more credit than that. Raise them to be accountable for themselves. You do not have to AGREE with someone's choices to accept their right to make them. You can raise your children with whatever set of moral and religious values you want, without teaching them to shame others who think/believe/feel/act differently.

Look at our world today. Look at the war, the destruction, the hate, the crime. Look at all the hurt caused, the lives taken too soon, the violence. At the end of the day, can't you just smile and nod at the woman walking down the street, no matter how tight her top is, or how short her skirt is, without worrying that your sons are going to loose all self control? She's a person. Just like you. And do we really need more negative energy to go around? Why does HAVING moral and religious beliefs give people a free pass to push them onto everyone else. Free agency. We all have it. In fact, from a religious standpoint- it's a key element to this whole plan. So why then can we simply not live and let live when others actually choose to use theirs?

The best weekend in Hell EVER!

Finally, eight years after she moved there, I made the trek to Texas (which I often refer to as Hell. Hence the title.) to visit my sister and her family this last week! I've been meaning to go for so long but life always got in the way... as it has tendency to do with many things. I'm so glad I was able to make it work, because I really had one of the best weekends I have in a really, really long time. Let me tell you the ways.
Well, first of all, have you ever been to Texas? It's a lot like Hell, only wetter. Our plane landed at midnight and it was still hot. Like, really damn hot. Whatever little breeze may have gone by wasn't even refreshing. In fact, it was hardly even a "breeze".... it felt more like a flame thrower launching fireballs at your face and hitting you every single time. How people actually LIVE in places with weather like that I'm not really sure, but I much prefer more mild weather. I don't handle heat or humidity super well, and I was worried I'd end up just being sick all weekend but luckily that wasn't the case thanks to air conditioning. It was nice to finally see her house, which is beautiful and fully equipped with a time capsule. (OK, so really it's a bathroom that has all the decor from our old house in California in it... but being in there is like stepping back in time, so I call it the time capsule.)

Aside from it being Labor Day weekend, Monday was also Shelly's birthday, so we made the whole weekend a celebration. My niece, Lexi, was so cute and had so much fun picking out cakes (yes. Plural. We bought two. And a bucket of ice cream. Don't judge.) and balloons and flowers for her mommy's birthday. And I'm pretty sure we sang happy birthday 500 times over the weekend. In fact, Lexi sang to all of us, all weekend. She is getting so big, it's hard only seeing them once or twice a year because each time the little ones are whole new people! She had songs about turtles, and big blue whales, and an alligator that snatches monkies from a tree, and bumble bees. So. Many. Songs. Each one cuter than the next. Breken, only being a few months old, didn't say or do too much this weekend, mostly just looked really cute and pooped on grandma a few times. You know, things babies do. :-)
My sister's husband, Nathan, is a police officer in San Antonio and works a lot. Especially because of the holiday weekend and being on drunk duty patrol his shifts were long and exhausting so unfortunately we didn't get to see a whole lot of him, but my mom and I still had a complete blast with my sister and her two little ones. It was a great 'girl's weekend' to say the least. SO many laughs, and so many memories made. Delicious food. The best company. It really was a weekend made up of the things in life worth living for.
The weekend came to an end and Mom and I flew back to Utah last night. It is always so hard saying "see you later" but hopefully someday Shelly and Nathan will move and be Utards with us, and the last piece of the puzzle will be in place to have the whole family together. I can't think of a single thing that would make me happier! Until then, we will get visits in when we can.

As I watched my sister and her kids this weekend, and watched my mom helping her own daughter so happily in the kitchen, I couldn't help but to once again feel overwhelmingly thankful for the family I have. I can't imagine a life without them. I am preparing to embark on my own journey through motherhood, and I'm certain I will get a lot of things "wrong" but I feel so lucky to have these examples of strong beautiful women around me, who are such good representations of the kind of wife and mother I truly aspire to be. The quality of role models that my children will have in their extended family- aunts, uncles, grandparents- is such a blessing. 

24 Weeks!

I think the last two weeks have gone by just a little bit faster than usual, which is a welcome change to the snail's pace that time has been creeping along at for the last couple months. We are getting so much done around the house but there is so much more to do, we for sure have our work cut out for us! This weekend I am going to Texas to see my sister and her family, and hopefully a little trip away will also help time go by faster. Not that I'm anxious for December to hurry up and get here or anything.



How far along? 24 weeks! (and 1 day)

How big is baby? Approx 12" long, and 1.3lb

Total weight gain/loss: -16. (142) Wooo hooo, I am up 2 lbs again. Hopefully I can hang onto it this time.

Maternity clothes? Still wearing normal clothes but jeans are getting more and more uncomfortable and do not button over my belly anymore. My shirts are fine though, I tend to buy long shirts due to the fact I have a long torso in the first place, so I think a lot of them will actually continue to work for a while. I haven't actually gained any inches anywhere but my belly, so everything fits elsewhere still.

Sleep: I've had insomnia a few nights this past week, and mornings have gotten more difficult to embrace again. I think it has a lot more to do with all the projects than it does pregnancy though. I find the more stressed I am the harder sleep is, and with as much as we have going on with house renovations I think it's safe to say sleep will be a struggle again for a while.

Best moment the last two weeks: I had an appointment with my midwife last Tuesday. It was probably the best pregnancy-related moment of the last two weeks because I left with such an overwhelming sense of security that I cried happy tears all the way home. Jon was unable to go to this appointment, so it was just she and I, and we talked about a lot of different things and thoughts that might be effecting me and my decisions on a deeper level than we had in appointments before. It was a good appointment, and I just know with no doubts we are on the track we need to be on.

Movement: Every day, and it makes me happy. Some of the movements are so strong they borderline on uncomfortable, but I will so take it!

Food cravings: Banana bread, which my mom made for me on Sunday and they were every bit as delicious as I knew they would be all week. Also, peaches always sound good, always. I don't know that it's a craving, but I'm sure enjoying them!

Food Aversions: Slowly getting over my leafy green aversion, which is a good thing! 

Gender: Boy. <3

Pregnancy Symptoms: I'm going to be completely honest and uncensored here because I hate it when people pretend things are peachy and everything is fabulous when it's not. No matter HOW excited I am to be pregnant (and I am very, very excited btw) there are just certain things that come along with pregnancy that while completely worth it, are not in any way fun. I wanted to be "that person" that just loves every moment of it, but I'm not. Some things just can't be embraced and enjoyed. Not unless you're crazy, much crazier than I am.
 My back hurts constantly, every single day. It's like my tailbone is being crushed and pulled towards my bellybutton.
I also have on again off again hemorrhoids (which I've NEVER had in my entire life. I didn't even know what the heck was going on at first, and called my mom, from the toilet, in tears, asking what in the world to do. What a miserable problem.) which occasionally make life a miserable burning Hell. Anyone who embraces crapping flames has a few screws loose.
No matter WHAT I eat, I'm nauseous after, even if I felt fine before eating, Not just a little nauseous, but curl-up-on-the-couch and be completely useless nauseous for about an hour. Cucumber and watermelon seem to be the ONLY exceptions.
Oh, and gas. Being up all night with gas pains last night was a joke. Missing sleep over farts is so unfair.
Other than all that, I really do feel pretty good! I'm not miserable all the time, and I absolutely *love* my belly. I'm able to be productive during the day and though by about 5pm I'm tired, it's after actually working all day and I think it is reasonable to be tired by then.

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss: Nothing.

What I am looking forward to: Third trimester!

Upcoming appointments/events: Next appointment is September 19, if I remember correctly. I need to double check!

Milestones: So far: made it through first trimester, had first (and second) ultrasound, and discovered gender, and felt movement, Jon has felt movement from outside, belly popped finally, anatomy scan (went well), being able to see movement, point of viability passed.

Bump Picture: I've been really bad at keeping up with this, but I promise coming soon....

Progress and Lessons Learned

We have been busy, busy, busy the last two weeks working our way through our first BIG projects in this whole house-to-home mission we are on. There's just so much to do, and I know we are probably biting off more than we can chew right now but we are so motivated to just make this place our HOME finally, after two and a half years of living here. The list seems to be getting longer rather than shorter, though.
It all started with Chase's room. The previous owners had knocked down a wall to make the living room bigger. I never really liked the shape of the living room, it was kind of awkwardly long and made furniture placement kind of difficult to do without just completely ignoring certain areas. Combined with the fact that the second upstairs bedrooms has really terribly drafty windows, we ultimately decided it made sense to put that wall back up. It solved a couple issues I had with the house, and was still more cost-effective than tackling our window situation right now.

But new walls need to be painted.
And if we're going to paint THAT wall, we should just paint... all the walls.
And if we're going to paint ALL the walls, we need new window treatments
And while we're at it, the kitchen needs gutted.
And if we are redoing the kitchen floor, we might as well redo ALL the upstairs floors.
And if we're redoing ALL the upstairs floors, we might as well redo downstairs, too.

Somehow, our whole house is pretty much getting a face lift. It's overwhelming sometimes. (OK, all the time. A few hormonal sobbing "we-can't-do-this" breakdowns have possibly taken place.)
Jon has worked every single night until at least 10pm on building this shed for our back yard. It. Is. Massive. I need to get pictures of it, and I will when it's all done. It's almost there. It's 8x12 feet, but it's tall as heck. If you ever need to store a skyscraper, we've got you covered. Giraffes, maybe? I'm really proud of him though. No, like I am REALLY damn proud. He's never built anything like that before, had no idea what he was doing when he started, didn't even have the tools that any plans called for, but you know what? He tackled that project, and step by step figured it out and kept working along on it, slowly but surely, until it's done. Mitch and Jared came to the rescue yesterday to help him throw the walls on the frame because they were too heavy for him (or anyone...) to lift alone, and too heavy for it to be reasonable for me to help him with. We're super super thankful for the help- we're really trying NOT to turn our house projects into work for other people and just trucking along ourselves figuring all this out, but that was physically impossible for one man.

I painted Chase's room first, then made curtains for the windows. Now, I am not a seamstress by any means but I figured "how hard could a rectangle possibly be?" It wasn't THAT hard, but the window in that room is also really small, so the curtains themselves aren't all that big... they're like 50x36. I lined them in orange, and I actually really kinda like them.
They are officially the first thing I've ever sewn start to finish. Any other sewing project I've ever attempted has been a disaster where halfway though whatever I'm working on is going so terribly I get annoyed with it and throw it away, swearing off sewing forever. It's just not my thing. It's tedious, time consuming, and I have no use for an iron in my life. I actually didn't even own one or have any need to own one until Jon's mom came to visit once and needed one so she bought one to leave at our house. Otherwise, I wouldn't even have one... so glad that happened!
Since that little mini project went so well, I decided it would be somehow reasonable to make curtains for the living room as well. I mean, I had proven I could sew, right? Plus, I was having a really hard time finding window treatments I actually liked. Everything was just the wrong shade, or didn't embody the warm homey feel I'm going for for that area of the house. But, I did find a fabric at Wal Mart of all places (I hate Wal Mart and rarely ever go there, terrible place) and that pretty much settled it. I was making curtains. And it was going to be easy, right? Hah. Joke was on me.
So, let's get one thing straight. I'm impatient, I get frustrated very easily, and I tend to run hot. In short, it really doesn't take THAT much to tick me off. I'm also a perfectionist and tend to have high expectations of myself and get really annoyed when I let myself down. So yeah, totally a good idea to take on a massive project in a skill I've never really developed or used before with zero direction or help... right?
Everything I read about making curtains said I MUST line them. I didn't know how I felt about this because the fabric was already thick and heavy and I'm a little worried they will end up blocking too much light and making the room too dark, but I also don't want my curtains to get sun rot and fall apart and die after I dedicated two miserable weeks of my life slaving over them. I lined each set (there are three) in a different coordinating color, partly because Wal Mart didn't have enough of any of them to do them all the same, and now it's easy to tell which panel goes to which window. I'm so crafty.
The first step was ironing all of the materials. Have you ever ironed twenty three yards of fabric? Have you ever actually seen twenty three yards of fabric in one place before? IT'S A JOKE! I quickly realized I was in over my head and that this was the worst idea I had ever had, ever. I also learned that I hate ironing and would rather cut off my toes one by one, so Jon better never get a job that he has to dress all nice and ironed like. Screw ironing.
 I also quickly realized that while my little curtains for Chase's little window weren't all that difficult, making one little 50x 36 curtain was a whole lot different than making several 110x 100 curtains. This was a whole new ballgame, and I really sucked at it. My whole downstairs living room was a mess of fabric, some ironed some not, all laid out, draped everywhere, as I worked away at it every. single. day.
 Now, a week later, all that's left to do is hang them up and pin the bottom edges so they are even, and sew those up. I just need Jon to be done with his shed so he can do that. Then I'm making cornice boxes for all the windows! I apparently didn't learn my lesson on crafty projects, and though I've tried my best to channel my inner Martha Stewart, mine is clearly still in prison because I'm just not that good at all this domestic stuff. I think my domestic skills end at crock potting, and mopping. And, considering the awful shape my house is in after being neglected for a week and a half while I was in the basement pretending to know how to sew, I'd say I'm even failing at the mopping part. I can't wait for this project to just be DONE. Like, officially and completely done.
I know all this work will be worth it. I'm already super proud of Jon, and I know that when we can sit back and enjoy our space and know that we did what we had to to make it our own on our modest budget, we will feel satisfied. I also know the color of the curtains, or layout of the kitchen isn't what makes a house a home, but to me it's about being in surroundings that evoke a sense of comfort that I want. I just want to feel like this is our home, because we made it that way. Right now, there's very little personal touch, and that's what I want to change. Plus, I feel like tackling a lot of tis ourselves has been good for Jon and I. We both kind of bit off more than we could chew initially, and took on projects beyond our skill level, and had to figure it out. We relied on each other and ourselves, and ultimately made it happen and I feel we are better because of it. Sure, there have been better-looking curtains made by more experienced seamstresses (like... one that's actually sewn or ironed before in their lives) and there are better-looking sheds to be found, but we did it. We accomplished what we set out to do, and we made it happen.
I'm not posting pictures of any of the finished projects until it's all put together. It's a surprise! I think when everything is all done, we might have a little dinner party to show all the changes we've made. I'd also be really interested in having an appraisal done to determine the value because even after spending what we will on the renovations, we are still coming out WELL below what it appraised for last time. Not that it really matters, we aren't moving for a long, long time.

The 5 Types of "Dog People"

I was thinking today... well, moreso yesterday.... about why it is that there is so much tension and bad energy in the dog community and I narrowed it down to the main culprit being the fact that most dog enthusiasts fit into very different types of "dog people."

The Typical Dog Owner
The typical dog owner loves their dog. They may or may not be interested in other people's dogs. They generally don't think much about the nitty gritty of breeding ethics, vaccines, dog sporting, nutrition, etc. As long as their dog appears to be healthy and happy, they're happy. Their own dogs may be indoor or outdoor dogs, and the typical dog owner generally does not put the family pet on the pedestal other "dog people" might. They generally feed cheap dog food because they don't know better and have never thought about it before. The typical dog owner doesn't really understand all that much about training and as a result their dogs usually have at least one really annoying habit. Rarely will you ever find a typical dog owner at any kind of dog show or participating on any kind of dog forum. They HAVE a dog, their dog is not their entire life, and that's OK.


The Well-Meaning, but Often Misguided
This person DOES think about things like nutrition, vaccines, and ethics, but tends to  take their vet's word as absolute scripture. They will usually do whatever the vet tells them to because they love their dogs to bits and have no idea that the $70 bag of food their vet recommended is actually junk. This person's pets will almost always be completely up to date with routine vaccines, heart worm prevention, flea and tick topical, and annual blood work and exams, and their dogs are generally spayed and neutered by that magic 6 months old mark- actions this well-intended owner feels are a true testament to their undying love for their pooches. This person can be found on dog forums telling those who stray from their vet's recommendations are irresponsible... after all their vet went to school to learn this stuff! Their dogs are often pampered, rarely outdoor dogs, and live pretty plush lives for the most part.


The I Just Really Love My Dogs

This person wants what's best for their dogs in all aspects of life. They generally put a lot of effort into training, learning about proper nutrition, and spend a great deal of time with their dogs. They generally view their dogs as family members and not "just pets." They're likely to talk about their dogs too much to people who really don't care. This person likely feeds a premium high quality commercial food, or a home prepared diet of some sort. They may or may not have interest in dog sporting, but can often be found at expos, shows, and any dog-related events. They care about breeding ethics and are usually well-educated on training techniques. Their dogs are very rarely "outdoor dogs" and their lifestyles are usually fairly dog-centered. This person generally still can be a functional member of society. While they put a great deal of thought and effort into the care of their own dogs, and often enjoy educating others, this person isn't generally obsessed with making sure every pet owner in the world "sees the light" and does things exactly as they do. They are often times passionate about dogs, but dogs are not their WHOLE life. They may be semi-active on internet forums, but generally get over them in time.


The Know It All
This person knows everything about everything. They know 1238014 show breeders, they have spoken with 3834723 of the top nutritionists, they know what all the sporting dogs eat because they know 23482347 people involved with all forms of dog sporting. If they feed commercial foods, they know the nutritional breakdown of 32472349 different brands. If they feed raw, they are absolute sticklers on those marrow and knuckle bones, and would never even consider feeding wild caught salmon from the PNW without freezing it first! They tend to be argumentative and can often times be found on forums rubbing everyone else the wrong way. This person generally does put thought into things like nutrition and ethics, but they love scientific studies and proof. Their dogs may be indoor or outdoor dogs, they are generally well-cared for and well-loved.


The Elitist 
No one will ever be good enough pet owners for the elitist, whose dogs are their WHOLE entire lives. Everything they do and every decision they make revolves around their dogs. To please this person, you must not just feed raw, you must feed only local, organic grass fed meat to your dogs, even if it means feeding yourselves and your children ramen. The family dog is not just on the same level as the human members, but often times are above that. They expect pet owners to make whatever lifestyle changes necessary to provide only the absolute best for their pets, or they don't even deserve to have them in the first place. To them, examples of terrible pet owners are: anyone who crates more than 3-4 hours at a time, anyone who does not feed the diet they've deemed ideal, anyone who has acquired a pet from a place they deem unacceptable, anyone who has ever left a dog in the backyard without direct supervision, anyone who feeds commercial food or -heaven forbid- grocery store meats, and whatever other requirements they've conjured. This person generally spends a LOT of time on internet forums worrying about what everyone else is doing. Their dogs are pampered, well-cared for, and live good lives- even if it means at the expense of the people in the home. They feel most people are unfit animal owners. This person generally feels it is their duty to make everyone "see the light" and will accept no reason to not do what they think is best. They rarely can accept that other people may not be able to make raw work, and view these people as lazy or undedicated dog owners. They are VERY concerned about what everyone else is doing, and much of their conversation is gossip. This person is great at making themselves feel good and others inadequate. They jump to the defense when called out on their passive aggressive bullying and generally play the victim. This is not a normal functioning member of society, this is a dog-obsessed whack job in most cases.

With nearly all dog people fitting into one of these categories, it's bound to turn ugly at some point. I can honestly say that this year I swore off dog forums, and my life has been SO. MUCH. HAPPIER since. Jon and I are on the fence on if we will ever have another litter- not because we aren't passionate about it, but because it's been really nice to just be removed from all the drama and ridiculousness that is the dog community. Dogs are my passion, and ALWAYS have been- for as long as I can remember... we will always love and adore our pack. We've made some good friends in this online community, friendships that mean more to me than words can tell. Through forum participation and puppy placement, we've met some amazing folks. I don't miss the judgy, negative tension that will always exist on forums, though. Not even a little bit. The amount of negative feelings people harbor for long periods of time over people they've never met- people who will never in any way impact their lives in any way- it's sad, really. No. My life is too otherwise full to ever go back to being a forum-goer. I like it better this way. <3
So, if you've been wondering what we've been doing since we "disappeared" from the forums... we've been enjoying life. Real life. The one that exists off the computer screen.

It Makes My Heart Hurt. :-(

I've had a couple discussions today that have me thinking about some things that we as a society have deemed acceptable, that are a real shame. Now, many subjects fall under that category but what is on my mind today is food, and many aspects of food that over time, we've gotten hugely wrong.

I really don't care what other people feed their families. What bothers me, more than anything is ignorance. If you're going to BUY something... give someone money in return for a product, SUPPORT AN INDUSTRY, you need to know what you're voting for. The reality of the food industry is sad, and it's not easy to see or learn about, but it's very real. And you're feeding it to your kids. You're voting with your dollars. By buying certain things you're essentially saying "I approve of this company and the ethics that went into this product." and... most people have no idea what that even means, they have no idea what they're voting for.

 I didn't for a long time! That's what the FDA is for, they're going to keep us safe! If it makes it to the shelf, it's safe to consume! That's their job. Newsflash, the FDA (like the rest of our government) doesn't work for you. They work for the big companies that keep their pockets full.
What I can't wrap my head around, and perhaps it's my own ignorance, is how someone can either
1. Not even care to learn when the subject matter is brought to their attention, or
2. How someone could possibly learn and NOT want to make changes.
Learning about the food industry the last year and a half has been literally life-changing, and it's something I've grown so passionate about, I do want to share it... but I don't want to shove anything down anyone's throats. So, take what I say with a grain of salt. A grain of real sea salt, that is. Don't be offended. And if you're still going to buy the same ol meat you've always bought because it's cheap and tastes good, that's fine. I don't care.

This post isn't even going to be about processed junk food.  That is a whole other post. What THIS post is about... is factory farming. What is it? What are the pros and cons of factory farming? What does it mean for the nutritional content of your food? What does it mean for your health? What does our overall acceptance of it say about society as a whole?

What is factory farming? 
Factory farming is how most meats readily available at the grocery store are raised. It is a business farm in which aims to produce the most meat and highest profit margin possible, which is achieved by housing as many animals as possible in whatever space they have. Most of our meat, dairy, and eggs are produced this way.


What are the pros and cons of factory farming? 
The very obvious pro here is that we have a constant food supply, which is convenient in the world we live in. Unfortunately we utilize that supply in the least efficient way possible, much of it going to complete waste while many starve, but that's a subject for another day.
The cons are plentiful. Animals are kept in conditions that are not just less than ideal, but downright cruel. The way we house and feed them leaves their own bodies weak and deficient, and those deficiencies spill over into the nutritional content (or lack thereof) in our food. Factory farming is terrible for the environment as well. I could really go on and on, but I'm trying to keep this simple.

What does factory farming mean for the nutritional content of YOUR food? 
Factory farming raises animals in such a way that is so far removed from what nature intended, that it impacts not only their quality of life, but also the nutritional content in the meat we buy. These are chickens that have never seen sunlight, pigs who have never seen mud, cows who have never felt grass beneath their hooves. ALL are vitamin D deficient, and because their diet isn't even natural (cows are NOT ment to eat grains.) they are lacking important omegas.
We see these deficiencies spill over into people. In fact, there was a study done on Omega 3's and their effect on clinical depression, a disorder that we have a very high rate of here in the USA, and is nearly unheard of in other areas, and one of the big differences in the areas is what people eat. In Iceland, for example, most people eat a lot of wild caught fish and farm raised, grass-fed beef, and depression is a near non-issue there. Here, on the other hand, not only is too much of our diet processed to begin with which lacks biologically available nutrients, but on top of that, what little "real food" most people eat is factory farmed. As a result, we see a high rate of deficiencies in people which lead to some pretty serious diseases and health problems, which would be completely avoidable on a more natural diet. People die over these things. It's serious.
Factory farming produces less nutritious foods, is the bottom line. All those things you know of beef: good source of iron, good source of Omega 3's, good source of protein, good source of vitamins B 3 & 12, good source of zinc and phosphorus.... none of that holds true for factory farmed beef the way it does for grass-fed pasture raised animals.

What does it mean for your health? 
Vitamin and nutrient deficiencies are a big deal. With nutrition being the cornerstone to good health, once you start messing with the natural makeup of your food sources, you are begging for things to go wrong. Certain deficiencies lead to: clinical depression, fatigue, muscle cramps, memory loss, anxiety, restless leg syndrome, hypertension, clotting disorders, birth defects, vision loss, headaches, nausea, digestive upset, and more.

What does our overall acceptance of factory farming say about society as a whole?
This is perhaps the more tragic part about factory farming. By accepting these practices and buying these products, we are telling these companies we are OK with it.
What kind of person is OK with living creatures being made to suffer? Have we become so disconnected from the natural circle of life that we have no respect for creatures other than ourselves? Have we become so numb to the cruelty inflicted on these magnificent animals for our benefit that we just turn the other cheek in the name of modern convenience?
It's not a secret- I'm an animal lover. But, you don't even have to LIKE animals to see that these conditions are unfair, inhumane, and downright wrong. It's cruel. The things we've done for convenience are disgusting. Profit and greed being the driving force behind the factory farming industry have put many family farms out of business, and because of the world we live in it's become easy for us, the consumer, to turn a blind eye to what's happening. We don't have big rolling farms everywhere reminding us that that little neatly plastic wrapped package in the meat section had a life at one point. We don't have to go out and milk the family cow to have milk for our cereal and butter for our bread. Now, food doesn't come from the animal in our minds, it simply comes from the grocery store. We don't have to think about it or give it a second thought. We can run in and grab a dozen eggs without having to think about the hen that lived her whole life cramped in a wire cage, unable to move or turn around. You can grab a gallon of milk without having to give a second thought to the poor cow that never saw sunlight or tasted grass and lived a short life covered in feces before being sent to slaughter. (and if you think those unsanitary living conditions don't spill over into the food supply and mean contaminated food, think again. Yes. there's poop in your food. Chew on that.) We can be as blind and ignorant as we wish, but it will never change anything.
And every time you buy factory farmed meat, dairy, and eggs, you are giving this industry your stamp of approval. You are casting your vote. You are accepting this as OK common practice.

So what, should I just be a vegetarian then? Besides, animals were put on earth to eat! Besides, they're just animals. 
Well, you COULD. I'm certainly never going that route again. The latter part is debatable, but I do agree with it. However, they were not put on Earth to be tortured. There are luckily still family owned farms who raise their animals in a humane nature, the way they're supposed to. I encourage you to seek out these places in your community and shop a little smarter. I encourage you to raise your own food if it is within your means. I encourage you to feel responsible for your choices, and to know what you're supporting. It DOES cost a little more to buy from ethical sources, because those farms aren't cutting their costs at the expense of the animals, and that is reflected in what you pay. But, even on a limited budget it absolutely positively can be done, and can be done well. Think about how many times a month you waste $10 here and $5 there.
Did you know that swine experience a range of emotion nearly as complex as humans? Fear, pain, joy, excitement, happiness, remorse... all within a pig's capabilities. A good comparison for the emotional AND mental capacity of a pig is that of a 3 year old child. That's how intelligent these animals are. That's how deep and complex they are. Think about it. Really, think about it. Are you OK with this? Are you OK with supporting this, in the name of money and convenience?
The point of this isn't to make you feel guilty, it's to get you to think about it. Where do you stand? What kind of companies do you want to support? What are you ok with?

It's Just a House (the Before)

This will be post 1 in our House to Home series of posts.
I remember when our really awesomely nice real estate agent brought us to see this house two and a half years ago. Our criteria were pretty low, we were just looking for a house that would have a mortgage super comparable to the rent we were paying at the time. (~$825)  Compared to all the other homes we saw with their itty bitty rooms and closed off floor plans, this place was awesome. We instantly fell in love with the huge living room, the wood floors, and huge bedrooms. Being built in 1954, and few things updated since then, there were some old house quirks we didn't particularly love, but all of them were either fixable or livable.
We were looking for a two year investment. We got an amazing deal on a foreclosure, and everything went through in one weekend. The difference between this house and other starter homes we considered was that we could actually see it working out for much longer. I mean, the POTENTIAL this place has is crazy. So we bought it, and moved in.
We quickly learned we weren't allowed to change the fence line as per city ordinance that says it has to be X feet from the sidewalk and it already was. We accepted that, but it left us with a really inadequate yard for our needs. But, we got a permit secured from City of Orem to do it anyway now, and though we have to do some serious work in the front yard (removing part of the driveway) it will be worth it. Just add another weekend of work to the list!
But then other than paint and some plumbing, we didn't really DO anything. We did nothing that changed the functionality of the house. We went with whatever hand me down furniture was given to us, and somehow fell into a black/white/red color scheme that I've hated since the beginning. It's just not us, it's not home. It hasn't been working for us, because we haven't worked for it. Since we have decided to stay, we are working diligently to turn this place into home.
We are on a budget. We have a very modest budget and will unfortunately have to DIY most of these projects, (all of which we really have NO idea what we are doing, so this should be fun!) Jon is taking care of a lot of the "heavy lifting" (like driveway removal, fencing, building a shed, etc.)  and I'm taking care of most of the aesthetic decor things. (making window treatments, wall decor, painting, putting together the nursery, etc.) Both of us are in way over our heads. Painting is rough on my tailbone, and I am terrible at sewing. Jon hasn't ever really built anything by himself, and has no idea how to install a fence. We are figuring it out, together, with Google and YouTube. I think we are both most intimidated by building the fence, which is a shame because it really needs to go in ASAP so all the dogs can be home officially full time. They need to be home, this is where they belong. It's not home without them.
We won't be inviting guests over during the next couple months as we work hard to get as much done before Chase's big arrival, ( ha, like we ever invite anyone over anyway.) Unless you want to help! Help is much needed and appreciated. We also pay in pizza, donuts, and cake. Score, right?!


-Remove 15 feet of driveway, fill with bulch and soil, plant fruit tree
- Put up 130 feet of solid wood fencing (this project makes us weep. If anyone knows how to do this and would be willing to help, you'd be my hero.)
-Build a storage shed
-Gut kitchen, install new one
-Install Trafficmaster flooring through upstairs
-Replace bathroom floor, install new toilet
-Paint.... everything
-Set up nursery
-Make curtains for entire living room (so dreading this. Yuck. I HATE sewing, and many of these are 8'x4')
-Make cornices for windows
-Build coffee and end tables
-Build dining room table


Come spring we have a whole new list of projects to get the "people side" of our backyard set up. It will involve more fencing, getting patio furniture, planting privacy vines, laying sod, and in general just creating a welcoming, relaxing outdoor space we can enjoy. That's put of til Spring, partly for time's sake, and partly because we already are stretching to budget everything listed, and may need to compromise on some things already, can't get it ALL done this fall.

We live here: 

 The side yard that's getting the driveway removed and being fenced in for lots of space for the dogs to play and have outdoor space of their own, in which they can dig and be as rowdy as they want.

Our living room. I *HATE* the color scheme (but don't be fooled, I love my red couches) Black and white are two colors that shall never be in my home decorating pallet ever, ever again. The gray I don't mind so much except for when combined with my red leather, it kinda fell into the black/ white color thing, which to me doesn't feel homey at all. It feels cold and sterile (when it's not covered in dog hair...) Plus, the window treatments make me cringe. I really detest vertical blinds, a lot. I like curtains, they feel warm and homey and comfy. THese windows are seriously massive though, and I've never sewn anything before start to finish because I get so annoyed with how tedious it is and give up, so this will be interesting. (I'm making them rather than buying, partly because I can't find any I like, and partly because it will be cheaper)

Another view of the living room "before" work. A previous owner knocked down a bedroom wall to make it obnoxiously long, and we just put that wall back up, and that bedroom will be Chase's. Also, that awesome custom painting of miss Annie on the fireplace is the color pallet for the room. Blues, reds, browns. I love it. I absolutely positively love it. 

Our Kitchen. It's much less painful if you don't look directly at it. There's nothing to be salvaged here. It's all coming out. It's all being replaced. And it won't be all white and ugly. I can't wait to have an oven that cooks evenly, counter space, NOT have my laundry in the kitchen, and actual storage space that's not old school flour bins. 

That little red half wall is being removed, and a breakfast bar put in perpendicular to it, to use up that awkward little space by the back door. I'm not sure where we will put puppies when we have them, but having a functional kitchen is more important than that. 

 Also going to paint our bedroom a more neutral scheme so we can change our bedspread up without losing the put together, cohesive feel going on in there. I love the green, but it doesn't go with anything and I'm ready to change it up. 

 Upstairs bathroom. I already have new peel-and-stick tiles to replace the floor, and we are getting a new toilet that's not a stupid water saver that you have to flush 348723424 times. Other than that, as ugly as it is, it's functional and didn't make the cut on renovation projects for this year due to budget.

Crowded, cluttered garage. And this is even missing all the Dane-sized crates. Jon is already working on building an 8'x12' storage shed in the back yard with shelving to organize all this stuff, and then the work bench (that never gets used) is coming out, a ton if insulation is going in, and then all the crates will go back out here and not be inside the house. The garage is right off the kitchen, so it's not like they'll be off in some other building.We will JUST have their crates, all their feeding supplies, and beds, blankets, etc. will be stored out here.  

Downstairs living room/ bathroom/ bedrooms. We aren't doing anything with right now. I want to gut the ugly bathroom and put new carpet down throughout the living and bedrooms, but it's just not happening this year. Maybe next year. We'll see. 

SO I guess we will just keep living here for 8 or so more years. We do eventually want land, but I think with these renovation projects we will be much, much happier with our current place. It's just a matter of making it our home and changing our mindset from "cheap 2 year investment property"  to "our home, where we will begin raising our family" and make the necessary changes as budget allows. I can't wait to put the front yard garden in in the springtime, too. 

Uhh... all the pictures were taken for our home listing, so they belong to... someone that's not me, I'm just not sure who. I hope I don't go to prison for using them.