February Food Challenge

First of all.... it's 4:30 in the morning and I am incredibly tired. I suppose that's what I get for having two litters of puppies at the same time. I love them dearly, I really do... but oh my heck, we're never doing this again. I think I'll stick to 0-2 litters per year, and never, ever at the same time. Ever. And that's all I have to say about that. Other than puppies, puppies, and more puppies, we have a few other little things going on. Like our February food challenge.
So, we've been slowly but surely making positive food changed for a year now. It started with my obsession with crock potting, and has kind of turned into a full blown food overhaul. Between the general time of year, and the fact that having puppies is so expensive... we're flat broke. I know, I know.... you're wondering how we maintain our fine sense of style and class on a tight budget. Be amazed, people. (says the one who wore filthy, over-sized pajamas out of the house today. and only realized after the first stop I forgot to wear shoes. The snow reminded me.)
We don't eat out a ton, never really did. Part of being poor is not having a life. Additionally, every time I think we'll get a little crazy and go out and have fun, my wallet reminds me to just calm the heck down.  (I promise all this poor talk is going somewhere.)
So, between my serious efforts to eat better, AND find some way to pay the bills (did I mention these puppies are quickly draining my bank account?! Buy them, please. All of them.) I came up with a challenge. I presented the idea to Jon, and he's on board, so here we go.

February Food Challenge Rules

• We must spend LESS than $100 on groceries for the entire month. 
• We must eat REAL food on a daily basis. (meat, cheese, eggs, produce, dairy)
• We can not spend ANY of our tiny grocery budget on pre packaged/ processed foods.
• We must eliminate something from the freezer or pantry on a daily basis, never to be bought again. 
• Food storage (Mostly extra rice, beans, and canned veggies) can only be touched after the pantry is exhausted)

So far, we've made it a full week. It's Feb 7th... well, 8th... dangit, the whole not sleeping thing totally messes up my groove. We've spent more than half our budget on food, BUT.... but... are on track to make it based on meal planning... I think. I might have to be creative, and soon. In going through everything tonight... I realized quite a bit of what we have in there has been there SO long... it's way past the use by date, and had to be tossed. Despite the fact roughly half of the food stock we thought we had when beginning this challenge is in fact now in the trash, the challenge remains completely in place. 

So, here's what we have to work with over the next three weeks:

Pantry

Jon has a bunch of canned soup going on here. I absolutely positively HATE canned soups, so I'm really banking on finding some nifty way to doctor them up and make them edible. Yuck. And yes, a bunch of Mac & Cheese to be eaten and never bought again. Nothing is "hiding" either, what you see is what there is. Gosh, I wish I had more rice. 

Spice cabinet (yes, it's alphabetized, ok?!) is... well, spicy? Not much actual food going on there, other than bread. 

My goal here is to limit all the prepackaged foods, and move more towards home made broths and stocks and not buy packaged ones. Eventually I'd like to see only things like dry rice and beans, quinoa, whole grain pasta, and maybe some canned tomatoes and beans but no other processed stuff. Most REAL food is kept in the fridge. 

Fridge

Really the worst thing going on in here is processed store bought pulled chicken. So sue me! I brought it home from a family dinner. Oh, it'll get eaten, though... when pickings are this slim, there's no room to be fussy. The cottage cheese and eggs have two containers because one is dang near empty. Also, the red stuff is Jon's crystal light. Think we are cheese eaters or something? LOL The fruit drawer is already empty. Fresh produce IS on our approved grocery list, but the money is going so fast, we won't be buying much anything until we've dwindled our supply a bit more. With raw milk at $7.10 a gallon, and it being one thing we just WON'T give up, every flippin' penny counts. 

My goal here, is to have only fresh meat, produce, and raw dairy in here when all is said and done. OK, fine, the Jell-O can stay too.... for a while. I love wiggly, jiggly Jell-O. 

Freezer

Ah yes, the freezer. Not a whole lot going on in there these days. Some tilapia loins, some organic grass fed beef I bought tonight, some frozen fruit for smoothies, and from the old days.... french fries, (so sue me!) pot stickers, and tortellini. I can't promise I'm not going to indulge in nummy tortellini any more in the future, but the rest of this junk is never going to be in the freezer again. Ever. 

My goal here is to have only organic meats from pasture raised animals, preferably locally sourced, and frozen fruits and veggies in here. No more processed starchy carbs. Yuck.  

And to keep everything all in order, we are keeping every receipt and marking down all out totals. At the end of the month it will be interesting to see where EXACTLY the money goes.

 What I'm Hoping to Accomplish With This Challenge

1. Greatly reduce the typical grocery bill for the month of February.
2. Force us to use food that otherwise might have sat until well past its expiration date, and end up being wasted
3. Clean out the pantry of all the kinds of food we wish to no longer have in our diet, providing a fresh slate to build our new and improved pantry stock, leading to even smarter, healthier food choices.
4. Improve our budgeting skills, keeping healthy food a priority, but still setting budget goals and sticking to them. 
5. To be forced to experiment with different food combinations I might not have otherwise tried.  
6. To get a few moderately interesting blog posts
7. To compare the real costs of eating healthy to a diet of processed junk. March we are starting with a clean slate, no food stock, and setting a budget to stick to that month, too! April we aren't setting a budget. I'm interested to see what our month-end totals will stack up to be on the three month span. 

I have everything I need to make home made bread. I figure after everything else is on its last leg, egg sandwiches are a safe bet. (have I mentioned my intense love for eggs yet?) 

SO, there you have it. 

Now I'm going to bed. Puppies won't take care of themselves in the morning. 

Oh yeah, and I've lost 82lbs, and five pants sizes. EAT REAL FOOD and be healthy, folks. 

Resolutions & Commitments

I have no idea what 2013 holds. I have no idea where this roller coaster called life is going to take us. I know a few things for certain:

1. I'm making health a priority in our home. I've shed 75lbs so far... and I'm committed to continuing to develop and exercise healthy eating habits and lifestyle choices. We have been eating a lot of fresh, whole foods... and really eliminated most of the overly processed junk food we used to buy. Not only do we look better, but we FEEL better every day.
2. I'm doing my part to support my community. This means going out of my way to BUY LOCAL, and support small business. Tying into our being healthy goals, we've started looking for healthier food options and have really enjoyed buying LOCAL pastured eggs, raw milk, organic grass fed beef, and pasture raised chicken... all from small, independent  local grocers and avoiding big chains. We also buy many of our necessities from work at home moms who make home made products, or resell quality natural products. It helps those who need it, I'm getting superior/healthier products, and it's really the only way to boost the economy.  It makes my heart happy. <3
3. I'm making an effort to spend more time with those who matter. I'm done wasting away time arguing with "dog people" on the internet... and making more time to spend with family and good friends. This means taking the time to go to Idaho and Vegas more. This means spending less time at a computer, and more time visiting grandparents. This means spending less time worrying about the rat race, and more time with siblings, nieces, and nephews. I wish we could convince Jon's family to make the move up here as well. Maybe someday....

I'm hoping for a few things to happen this year. Namely: sell this house, buy one we LOVE that we can see ourselves raising a family in, start said family, and improve our business. 

Perspective

It's 2013.
I was born in 1989, that was 24 years ago.
I was baptized in 1997, that was 16 years ago.
I started high school in 2003, that was 10 years ago.
I graduated high school in 2007, that was 6 years ago.
I moved to Utah and got married in 2009, that was 4 years ago.
We bought our business in 2010, that was 3 years ago.
We ought our first house in 2011, that was 2 years ago.
I had back surgery in 2012, that was 1 year ago.

It really puts certain things into perspective when it's laid out like that. I mean, the amount of time that seems to go by without even noticing... it's crazy. All of these milestones seem to come and go and it's not until you take time to sit and reflect on them that we realize just how much has been going on. But that's not the point. The point is moving forward... to the future.

I did a lot of soul searching this year, particularly towards the end of the year. I mean, really deeply searching for exactly what it is I want out of life, and not what everyone else wants for me. I'm a people pleaser, and I have this awful habit of doing things to make OTHER people happy, even when it makes me miserable. It took leaving Utah behind for a month to realize the things that are important and what kind of life I want. I've come to three conclusions:

1. I love Jon. (well... maybe that's obvious) I mean, we drive each other crazy sometimes, and we've only been married for three years and STILL have a lot of learning and growing to do.. but I want o do it together. He's accepted me for me, despite my five billion mistakes and flaws, and that's pretty.... special. 
2. I love Danes. (OK... perhaps another obvious.) They'll be a part of me and my life forever. But, I do *NOT* love the "dog community" and I do not love the judgement that comes along with having a breeding program. I'm not going to give it up, but... I'm not so sure that moving forward I'm going to involve myself in this community so much. I think one litter per year and focusing more on my life outside of the dogs, and less on networking and discussing with other "dog people" is a healthier choice. Don't get me wrong, I love love love our puppy buyers... but the ignorance, greed, judgement, and hate that resides in all the die-hard dog folks online... well, I'm over it. 
3. I love family. Family means so much to me, and no matter hoe many times I decide to move away, I feel like I always ache to come back. I do NOT love Utah. I really don't love Orem... but I hate being away from family. There are a few technically non-related people I include when I say the word family... Becki, Natalie, Jon.... friends like that are rare. They're family that CHOOSE to be family. That's special. 

There are so many things taken completely for granted, so many details overlooked. SO often we don't realize what's important until it's too late. I'm glad I took some time to soul search this year, and put everything back into perspective. 

Tiny T

Life is crazy.
We welcomed both litters of puppies on December 26, 2012. Whelping went well, and for the most part, the mamas just did their thing as I sat back and made sure all was well. Of course it was.
Timber had 11 strong, beautiful, healthy puppies.
Zailey had 10 little spotty puppies, one being a little runt, reminding me so much of little Anna in her previous litter. I spent the following week feeding little Taylor every hour, only getting broken fragments of sleep and seeing that she is OK. She grew stronger, healthier, and was thriving. Jon and I had gotten quite attached to her by this point and were having difficulty with the idea of selling her. How can you just sell a baby you raised by hand? Unfortunately last night, Taylor nosedived. My vet thinks that she got kicked or stepped on in her whelping box enough to put her body in shock, and my supplementing her just wasn't enough because she was so small.  I stayed up, all through the night, feeding her every half hour, getting sugar in her, keeping her warm. She passed away early this afternoon. Loss is a part of breeding. Puppies will occasionally die, it's part of nature and the logical part of my mind knows and accepts that.
The not-so-logical and perhaps too-emotional side of my mind.... well, that side is having a hard time today. I held her moments after she was born. I spent several sleepless nights with her, bonding, and loving her. I carefully placed a hot pink ribbon around her neck, named her Taylor, and watched her become stronger. I weighed her every night, and celebrated her wonderful gains. And then.... I held her weak body in my hands once again. I talked to her. I apologized to her. I fed her. I stimulated her. She passed away once and I was able o give her CPR and revive her. At the point I accepted she wasn't going to make it, I tucked her in my shirt, against my chest, and loved her til her last breath.
I know she's "just a puppy who I only had for 12 days" but these puppies... they're my life right now. They're what I DO. They're my passion. In MY world, it's the saddest of tragedies. I don't remember the last time I felt so empty, or cried so hard.
It made me question everything. Did I make a mistake? Could I have done something better? Could I have prevented it? Am I even cut out for this harsh world of dog breeding?!
I know there's a lesson in everything, and that everything happens for a reason. Today, I am too sad to figure all that out. I just believe this world wasn't worthy of just a perfect little soul. Run free, sweet Taylor. Run free.

Commercial Diet Products Suck

Wow. A new year. This is the time that everyone swears they are totally going to go to the gym 5 days a week, lose 50lbs by Summertime, and are so totally going to get healthy.
It's also the time of year that commercial weight loss products sell like... a crapload of product. And I DON'T GET IT!
Now, I'm not going to sit here and claim to be the healthiest person in the whole wide world, and what I'm about to say has nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with health. I swear if people would spend HALF the time and money on real food, as they do the next miracle weight loss shake, meal, pill, etc.... we'd be a healthier nation.
Nutrition is the cornerstone to health. You literally ARE what you eat. Our food impacts every system in our bodies. It effects fertility, it effects our moods, our minds, our emotions, our skin, or digestion... everything. Food IS medicine.
Do you read what's in your food? Do you know what the ingredients mean? DO you know how heavily processed food impacts your health? Do you know what is in that "miracle shake" you're drinking? Don't just blindly buy into cleaver marketing, READ the label. Can you pronounce all the ingredients? If not, DON'T EAT IT! 
We've moved towards a real food diet, and honestly, Jon and I have never felt better than when we do eating fresh, real foods. Going out occasionally is OK, treats occasionally are OK... but veggies, fruit, and fresh, lean protein... that's seriously easy peasy and delicious. AND free of chemicals, preservatives, dyes, pesticides, and hormone-altering injections.
So, in 2013, on your "I'm totally going to get super healthy" mission, drop the pre packaged meals, powders, and potions. Forget the miracle drinks and powders. Go buy organic grass fed beef, delicious produce, pasture-raised dairy.... and get healthy!

Goodbye Facebook, Hello Life

Yesterday I realized a few things. That's what tends to happen when you spend TWELVE hours on the road with nothing to do and no one to talk to. You realize things. Like how your sweatpants have more holes in them than you thought... and that your steering wheel s grossly dirty. Unfortunately sometimes you also notice that one or more of the three 100+ lb dogs in the car has awful gas. But beyond that...

1. I care too much what everyone thinks. From family to friends, I make too many decisions based on what other people would like or expect of me. I need to knock that off.

2. For as long as I remember, I have this serious need to gain acceptance from other people. I need to knock that off.

3. It gets to me way too much when other people are disappointed in or upset with me. I mean like... if someone is mad at me, I loose sleep, I ache, I'm upset for a long, long time. I need to knock that off.

In further thinking about what I want in life, and what things I am going to commit to work on personally I decided the first step in becoming happier with myself, is to eliminate the things and people who don't matter. Not that I don't like most of the people I associate with... but, what Joe schmoe on the internet thinks shouldn't matter to me. So, what did I do? I deleted my Facebook page. Why?

1. I spend too much time messing around on Facebook and not enough time maintaining my house, spending time with the people actually IN my life, and focusing on Ruff House and Velcro Danes. Those are better ways to spend my time.

2. I don't need the arguing or the drama that comes along with Facebook.

3. Because really, why the heck not? Why keep the stupid thing? Because everyone really gives a crap where you went to lunch or what you think of the President? No.

I will probably blog a bit more than I did... because, well... I have crap to say... but for now, my life is off of Facebook. I will still put Velcro Danes stuff on the Velcro Danes page.... but personal Facebooking is over, and I figure that those who really matter and are really interested in me and I them, they'll still be there.

So, Goodbye Facebook, Hello Life.

It's kind of liberating, actually. You should try it!

Shootings, Guns, and Criminals

What happened today in CT is a true tragedy of the most horrific kind. Those who prey on children (and animals!) are the most disturbed of individuals. Because of which, I feel sorrow that the individual who opened fire had to live in his own mind, and that there wasn't help that was so obviously needed. I feel sad for the lives lost, and for the families that enter this holiday season with an empty void in their hearts for the loved ones lost.
When tragedy strikes, people talk. They talk about what should have been done different. They talk about how it could have been prevented. They talk about why it happened.

This time it's guns.

Shootings, particularly school shootings aren't just something I've heard about on the news. On a morning in 2001, I was in sixth grade. I went to Cajon Park Elementary, and it was just another day... until we went on lock down because someone opened fire at the high school, Santana, just a couple short blocks down the road. What does that have to do with me? Five members of my family, including both parents in the home, were on campus. I sat there at the age of eleven as my classmate's parents and siblings came and checked them out of school until I was the only one left. All I knew at that point was that of the six people living in my house, FIVE of them were on that campus, including my mother... stepdad, step brother... sister, brother.... I watched as my classmates were taken home by their families and wondered why mine had not come for me, too. My mind at that time did not comprehend that being school employees they were first taking care of the students on campus and trying to help in the chaos ensued by fear. My teacher at the time tried to tell me she was sure my family was all just fine but even at the tender age of eleven I could tell she had no idea, and there were no promises. Where were they? Why did no one come for me? Could they? Were they hurt?  Were they alive? Finally my step brother showed up for me, it was afternoon, and a couple hours had passed since every last one of my classmates had left.
I was not on campus. I did not live through the horror of watching people shot, wounded, killed. I did not have to run through the halls in the chaos. But my life HAS been very personally effected by a school shooting. I am thankful that all five members of my family made it home safely that day. I share this because I've been accused of not "understanding" the gravity of the "gun problem" our country has today due to my stance on it.

I've seen all this gun control talk today. SO many people blame legal gun ownership and want stricter rules, some even vote for the downright ban on gun ownership.

The problems in this way of thinking are plenty.

1. It follows the notions that criminals follow laws, which the very nature of being a criminal contradicts. Guns being illegal to own will not stop criminals from owning them because the reality is most gun crimes are committed by people who can not legally have them anyway!
2. It takes away the legal use of a firearm to protect yourself, your family, or your property. When these mass shootings happen it is nothing short of a tragedy. You see them on every news channel and every news website. But, rarely do the stories of the lawful use of firearms to SAVE live and protect ever make it off the the fourth page of the local newspaper. Murderers and rapists stopped, lives saved.... thanks to gun ownership.
3. I can't help but wonder if some of these people would be so quick to open fire if they KNEW that a high percentage of people were also carrying firearms... so on the flip side I can't imagine how many MORE might if they knew for sure that no one else was.... chew on that for a minute.
4. It places blame for criminals on people who are not guilty. Plenty of shootings are committed by minors. You have to be a minimum of 21 years old to own a gun in any of the 50 states of America.

The following list of prohibited persons are ineligible to own firearms under the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act.

• Those convicted of felonies and certain misdemeanors except where state law reinstates rights, or removes disability.
• Fugitives from justice
• Unlawful users of certain depressant, narcotic, or stimulant drugs
• Those adjudicated as mental defectives or incompetents or those committed to any mental institution and currently containing a dangerous mental illness.
• Non-US citizens, unless permanently immigrating into the U.S. or in possession of a hunting license legally issued in the U.S.
• Illegal Aliens
• Those who have renounced U.S. citizenship
• Minors defined as under the age of eighteen for long guns and the age of twenty-one for handguns.
• Persons convicted in any court of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence (an addition)
• Persons under indictment for a crime punishable by imprisonment for more than one year are ineligible to receive, transport, or ship any firearm or ammunition

Those who already own firearms  required to relinquish them upon conviction.

The above list also sums up a vast majority of the people responsible for the violent crimes involving firearms or other weapons.Illegal. Unlawful. If the gun laws we already HAVE were followed then things like this wouldn't be happening. More laws isn't the answer, better attention to the ones we already have is.
Maybe better attention to mental illness and getting people treatment? Maybe better protecting our schools which seem to be where these horrors happen most? Maybe being kinder to our fellow human beings and not too self-absorbed in ourselves? I don't know what all the answers are... but I know that taking away the ability to protect ourselves isn't it.

My thoughts aren't because I don't understand the gravity of these shootings. It's not because I don't think we have a problem. 28 people lost their lives today. 20 of them were children. Innocent children whose lives had barely began. I do not overlook the tragedy of that. Something needs to change. But guns are not to blame. The sick man who [illegally] armed himself and opened fire [where it is illegal to have guns no matter what] and took these innocent lives is. No law would have saved lives today.

My heart goes out to the victim's families who instead of feeling the magic of the Holiday season are left heartbroken as they plan the funerals of loved ones taken too soon. I hope that the empathy and sorry for what happened is not lost in all of the gun debates that are sure to continue.