Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Dear Albert

Dear Albert,
I thought of you this morning, just as I still do most every day. I laid there wondering if you're around, or what important task the Lord has you working on right now. I know it's selfish of me, but I just wished you were here. It's hard for me to fathom there's any place more important you could be than here with us on Earth, helping us find the way. I know you're around, I know you still care, I know this is how it's supposed to be right now, but I can't understand. I can't understand how we are supposed to navigate all that's going on without your support, encouragement, and words of wisdom. I'd give anything to just be able to pick up the phone and call again, I have so many questions and so few answers right now.
Grandpa, where do I put each thing in my garden to make it grow best? The water pressure in my sink is so low, how can we fix it? And Grandpa, Jon's truck gives us trouble- the brakes are still loud, what should we do? And while we are at it, Grandpa, who should I call about a quote on our windows, they're drafty and I'd like to move Chase to his bedroom soon but can't until it's fixed. Please Grandpa, we are thinking of moving and need your advice, I just know you know best, and I'm feeling so lost. I miss your guidance and times now are tough.
It's been nearly a year, and some days are good. I find comfort in knowing there's life after death, but sometimes life without you is brutal and I find myself doubting every decision without your input.  I'd give anything for just one more conversation, just a bit more advice. To drive to your house on that hill and know you'd be there, in your big leather chair, with a listening ear and endless advice.
I miss you Grandpa, I miss you so much. I'm trying, I am, to accept what can not be changed, to remember the eternal perspective and keep priorities straight. But it's hard to do, on days I just really need you. 

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