Sunday, November 2, 2014

Just Shut Up, Mr. President

I will preface this with a disclaimer. I know right now it's all the rage to embrace everyone for every single decision they make and to actually have an opinion on right and wrong makes me a straight up first class jackass. The thing is... I do believe most cases come with a pretty clear cut right and wrong,  or at the very least obvious superior choices, so I am fully loaded with opinions on pretty much everything whether I am entitled to them or not.
Also, I think Obama is an idiot with an agenda against the family unit, possessing no moral compass or common sense, and undoubtedly the most un American president in the history of this country.
Also, I hate the current feminism movement. War on women? How about war on family, folks.
So, there's also that. But at least my general bias is out in the open.

In a speech this week, he gave us this lovely gem:

"And sometimes someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay at home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. That’s not a choice we want Americans to make."
The speech in its entirety was a fairly pointless ramble about child care costs and how women are forced to leave the work force and how dare we make women choose between a lucrative career and actually *gasp* being mothers. Ladies can have it all! And apparently should. Or something.

"He's totally not saying women shouldn't stay home and raise babies, he's saying they shouldn't have to choose."
On the surface, this annoys me. Life is about making choices. Here's the thing: you aren't entitled to the fruits of another person's labors. If a woman leaves the workforce to raise babies for 18, 20, 30 years be it because she WANTS to, or has no choice, her value in a professional capacity goes down. It's a natural consequence of her choice. This notion that she should be able to jump back into the game with the same wage/ salary as her peers who have years or even decades of experience is pure hogwash. Women who have less years invested in a company SHOULD make less money than those who have put in the time. You know what also makes an employee more valuable? Experience. Flexibility. An open schedule. NOT having to call out of work because your kids have an appointment/ need a ride/ are sick/ don't have a babysitter. These are consequences of parenthood that tend to fall more on mothers than fathers (obviously as with everything there are exceptions) that make mothers as a whole less valuable employees than their childless peers. It's reality, and it's OK.
But let's force companies to pay everyone the same, regardless of what they have to offer the company because it makes us feel warm and fuzzy and then watch as we all go out of business for being idiots and then wonder why it happened. This simply does not work applied to real life. Women (and men) can NOT have it all. We all have to make choices, some out of preference and some out of necessity but in the end it's the same.

"Child care is too expensive."
Child care SHOULD be expensive. It's hard work and it one of the most important jobs in the world. It shouldn't be cheap and it shouldn't be subsidized by the government, even a little bit. The government didn't make you get pregnant. Your choices did. -Unless of course the objective here is to make it easy to ignore the importance of the family unit and how literally EVERYTHING becomes more complicated and/ or goes to Hell when we make choices that clearly go against that. Oh, wait..... 21

"But women should better themselves through education and career and staying home is a waste of their talents and skills and they will never reach their full potential sitting around raising kids!"
If you believe this, there is simply no hope for you. I can't even entertain it with a response other than expressing a genuine hope that these people don't ever reproduce if they place that little value in parenthood. How sad.

Our choices have consequences. Some positive. Some negative. Some both. That's just the reality of this little thing called life. LIFE. That thing we all live that is one big decision-making fest.
Sure, I have an opinion on what mothers SHOULD do, but I have an even stronger opinion on that fact that she should own the consequences of whatever she decides.

And I can't miss the opportunity to shine a light on how incredibly well the family unit as designed by God works. I believe The Family: A Proclamation to the World is the single most valuable piece of literature pertaining to our salvation second only to the Book of Mormon and Holy Bible (which work hand in hand, contrary to popular belief) You do NOT have to be LDS to appreciate the words that so clearly lay out God's intention for women as mothers and men as fathers. Indeed, when we live our lives in a way that applies these principles many of these problems- childcare costs, pay inequality, the imaginary war on women, government assistance programs- they all become nearly irrelevant. Within his structure it clearly states "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation." What gets dangerous, is when we start laying out exceptions not based on disability, death, or other circumstances which may be out of our control, but rather to accommodate people's choices. Because we live in a society that likes to think that no matter what we choose for ourselves, other people should pick up the slack and accommodate us because LOVE, EQUALITY, PEACE. Stupid.

I could really go on and on but I won't. DO I think working moms are bad moms? Hell. No. Some of the best. It's not that black and white. Do I think when at all POSSIBLE women should stay at home with their babies, even if it means making huge lifestyle sacrifices and giving up an enjoyable career? I absolutely, positively do. Hands down. 100% of the time. Does it annoy me to no end to hear how moms "have to work" because they "just can't afford not to" because they really "need the money to pay the bills and get by" and they could "not even survive on their husband's salary." YES. Because 99.9% of the time it's simply not true, they just want to believe that it is to justify decisions. If you have more than one modest economy car, go on vacation, own recreational toys, have the latest technology gadget, buy designer clothes, accessories, toys, etc.... congratulations, you are working to support a lifestyle, not to survive. Kindly stop fooling yourself.

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