Weekend Getaway

Last weekend we were lucky enough to have one last little Summer getaway before buckling down and getting through all our projects on the house. There's SO much to do before December, and to stretch our budget as far as possible we are taking on most of the labor ourselves for anything we are even remotely capable of. Even so, it was nice to just put it all on hold for one weekend and escape- to Jackson Hole, WY!
It was a quick trip, we drove up Saturday morning and spent the day strolling around the town, looking at all the little shops, which was fun even though we didn't buy anything. That night, we went to the Bar J Wranglers dinner/ show. I hadn't been in YEARS but still remembered how much fun it was, how good the food was, and how hilarious the show was. It didn't disappoint. Jon had never been but has been hearing about this "ho down" from my family for four years now and was excited to finally go see what the heck we were all talking about. I think he laughed more than anyone else at our table, so it's safe to say he enjoyed it.
Sunday morning we woke up and had breakfast in our room and kind of lounged around for a while before going back to walk around for a little bit. Have I mentioned how nice it was to escape yet:?!
We went and walked around for a bit before getting back on the road and heading home.
The drive both there and back were enjoyable. It's so rare that Jon and I have 5 solid hours to just... talk. Uninterrupted discussion. Plus, the scenery was beautiful. I LOVE mountains. And rivers. And lakes.
We have absolutely NO doubt that we want to stay by family indefinitely. There's nothing we would trade the proximity to family for, and if Jon's family moves up here like we keep hearing they hope to, then all the better. But, every single time we go on a road trip and pass through all these cute LITTLE old towns, with land and cows, we're reminded of how badly we want that, and how much we DON'T want to stay in the suburbs forever. Don't get me wrong, we are actually excited to not be moving right now, and to get these projects on the house done and settle back in, but in the long run, we struggle a lot with where exactly we want to be. How far are we willing to go? Will our priorities change? All we know now is this is where we feel like we need to be, and that's what we are doing for now, and we feel very at peace with that for the NOW, but the future is so unknown. We still really want land, privacy, space, the whole shebang. Perhaps someday, but for now, this is home, and this is right where we belong. <3

22 weeks!

Twenty-two weeks. Time is crawling along, slowly but surely. Normally I hate having plans on the calendar, I just have such a hard time with having my time scheduled out in advance, but these days I am just happy to put anything on the calendar to give little things to make time go by faster.
We had our official anatomy scan on Monday. I was nervous just because I obviously didn't want to discover anything that might make the next 18-20 weeks full of worry. Luckily everything went really well and he looks great! Despite the fact that *I* am not growing like most pregnant women, Chase is growing strong and healthy just the way he should and measuring right on time for what my estimated due date is. (though my guess is still that he will be 8 days "late" and arrive Dec. 26th) We were also able to confirm that he does not have cleft lip, at all. Not that cleft would be the end of he world, in fact in the broad spectrum of birth defects that's such a minor thing, but since I was born cleft, it is something our babies are at a much higher risk of having than most babies. But should we ever face that, we will deal with it. I may be bias, but I think he has the most adorable nose in the world. It is crazy to me how much bigger he looks now. My last ultrasound was seven weeks ago, and he still looked like he had all kinds of extra space in there. This time, he was all curled up, and had his little legs crossed at the ankles. He's a little person now! I mean, he always was but.... it's just crazy.

How far along? 22 weeks!

How big is baby? Approx 11" long, and 1lb

Total weight gain/loss: -18. (140) I don't know what the heck is going on with my weight. I was positive I'd gained again in the last two weeks. My belly has grown... a lot, I'm eating a ton, I haven't been that sick. I'm not sure why (or HOW) I lost 2lbs again.

Maternity clothes? My jeans fit, but aren't very comfortable if I'm sitting for a long period of time. They work for a trip to the grocery store or something like that though. My yoga pants are still fine though, I either wear them below my belly or just don't fold the waistband down and wear it over my belly- both are comfortable and still look fine.

Sleep: I have been lucky in that this pregnancy insomnia I keep hearing about has stayed away so far. I'm waking up several times to use the restroom, but still falling right back asleep.

Best moment the last two weeks: It's been a fairly uneventful two weeks, other than our anatomy scan we had on Monday. Everything looks great and baby is developing perfectly. Despite MY weight loss, he's growing just the way he should be. I think our bodies are amazing.

Movement: Tons. It's like a never-ending dance party.

Food cravings: Not really craving anything, though I've really been enjoying open-faced cucumber and tomato sandwiches on an english muffin lately. And I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I've actually grown to *like* my herbal pregnancy tea. I don't love the taste, but my body craves it, and I probably drink 48 oz of it a day, at least.

Food Aversions: Anything leafy, still. I'm usually such a salad eater but not now. I've made chunky veggie mixes in place of my usual spinach salad though, just chopping cucumber, tomato, avocado, etc. and eating that instead. 

Gender: Boy. <3

Pregnancy Symptoms: I had several days of serious nausea last week. Unfortunately I was sick for my entire Jackson Hole vacation. I think I'm better now, at least... I feel better the last couple days. I still feel very anti-social and I worry people mistake that for depression. I'm not depressed, I'm quite happy with life right now, I just like to be left alone. I'm not sure why.

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss: Nothing.

What I am looking forward to: Third trimester!

Upcoming appointments/events: Our next appointment is Aug. 20. I don't think Jon is going to make it to that one (work will let him but I feel like we've asked SO MUCH out of his job lately with our trip to the lake and then all these appointments, since it's not a "big one" I think I might just go it alone this time.

Milestones: So far: made it through first trimester, had first (and second) ultrasound, and discovered gender, and felt movement, Jon has felt movement from outside, belly popped finally, anatomy scan (went well), being able to see movement

Bump Picture: 

Progression pic coming soon

Home Sweet Home

As is fairly well-known, Jon and I have been planning on moving on from our first home and settling into a new place.
After a lot of ups and downs, and way too many months of the same song and dance with offers falling through on our house, and having to go back to square one, I got to thinking maybe this just isn't supposed to happen right now. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and especially when really crappy things keep happening I have to trust that there is some bigger plan that I just don't understand, and have faith that it will all work out for the best. Of course I get to that point AFTER wishing all manner of awful, terrible things on whomever I feel is to blame for said crappy things at the time, but at least I do get to that point.
The whole house selling process was just getting way too stressful for me. Jon is a trooper, but I am so intently focused on wanting to prepare for this baby, and feeling like my house isn't even mine anymore wasn't helping. I have furniture that needs to be set up, cloth diapers to be prepped and put away, supplies to organize... and having my hands tied on all of that was so frustrating. So, I got to thinking: worst case scenario is the house doesn't even sell until super close to my due date. It was a real possibility at this rate. I don't want to give up the 19 or so weeks I have left to prepare and plan while hanging on to some notion that we will be moving when reality is I had no idea if or when that would happen. I told Jon I think it's time we start thinking about how we can make this house work for our family for a while longer, and move at a time that I'm not so overwhelmed. Then we started talking about all the reasons we bought the house in the first place. I mean, there was a time we loved this place. Why?
I remember sitting on my grandpa's couch and him asking us why we wanted THIS house. We loved the potential. The bare bones it has, and what can be done with it. The problem is: we moved in and didn't really DO anything with it. We put projects off and settled because like many, we were quickly overwhelmed by the work involved. So of course we grew unhappy with the house, we never fell in love with the house as is, we fell in love with the potential and what we planned on turning the house into. We started talking about all those projects and how they might change our feelings on our property, and how we can utilize the land we have in a way that will work for us.
We ended up getting a plan approved by City of Orem that will change our fence line dramatically, making the front yard smaller and give more space in the back for dogs and kids. Our yard is the #1 thing that doesn't work for us because we don't use our massive front yard for anything (an unfenced, non private yard is useless as far as I'm concerned...) and don't maintain it the way we really should because Jon is so busy and we just lack the motivation and discipline to put so much time into what we see as useless, unused space. SO, here's the approved plan:
On the left is how it currently is. Our back yard is small, and just dirt because the dogs have long since destroyed any signs of life out there. We have an annoyingly big front yard, that we do absolutely nothing with other than begrudgingly mow ever week (or two....) and spend a fortune watering.

The first thing happening is the new fence going up. Jon is tackling this project himself to help save labor costs. He's never done a fence before, but I'm confident he can do it, he can do anything he sets his mind to. It will be a BIG project, and only the west side is getting done immediately. The east and north sides will get done Spring 2014 because we have to prioritize budget AND time right now. 

Unfortunately to get the permit to change the fence, we have to remove 15feet of our roundabout driveway, but will still have enough of it to park in the driveway without blocking each other so it's not a HUGE loss anyway. We were going to lay sod in the area, but are actually thinking of just laying mulch and putting in a fruit tree- probably cherries or apricots- since lawns and fruit trees don't have the same watering needs. Since that side of the back yard will be where the dogs will run and play, we are turning off the sprinkler system, the lawn stands no chance anyway, and possibly putting a fruit tree in the triangle of space that will be left out front. Of course the fruit trees all depend on if grandpa tells me they will or won't be able to thrive in those spots. Plan B is just grass there and we will unfortunately have to reconfigure some sprinklers, but it would be nice to just be able to shut that entire section off. 

The other outside project is building a shed. Again, no idea how to do that, but we'll figure it out. Our garage is too crowded, we need somewhere to put "yard stuff" that is out of the elements. 

We hope to get a grill-finally- and some patio furniture now that there will be a people side and a dog side to the yard, and actually start enjoying our outdoor space again. And, of course, I can't wait to have a porch swing. I loved having one before a certain Dane kinda destroyed ours. That will all have to come in time though. We also have projects inside the house to tackle, and one at a time we will save up, and get them done. 

I'm excited actually. At one point I felt like staying here after Chase is born was the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen and now, planning and talking about these projects with Jon I feel like we are falling in love with our house all over again. Yes it's old. Yes it needs updating. Yes the kitchen blows (that's the first indoor project... and I'm oh so excited for it!) and makes me hate even trying to cook anything but one pot meals. But this is our house, and it's about time we make it our home. It won't happen overnight, and it will happen one project at a time, but really just getting the yard squared away before winter sets in will make it so much more manageable with our pack. 

I'm not sure why we felt like selling this place was the right decision. I'm not sure what we were supposed to learn from all of this, and I'm not sure what the "greater plan" holds. What I do know is our baby was conceived the night we listed the house.. so... there's that. (How's THAT for over sharing?!) And if Chase Albert  is what comes out of this nightmare experience, then... well, it is so much more than worth it. 

Ten Things That Would Make me Insanely Happy

1. If my Kenny Chesney Pandora channel would only play county music, because it pains me to "thumbs down" John Mellencamp for the sake of customizing the channel.

2. If Blake Shelton would come play in Salt Lake. Or my living room.

3. If I could afford a chef to come live in my house and make me dinner when I don't feel like cooking.

4. If my house would sell like... right this second, and close immediately.

5. If dogs could not poop anymore. Ever. Or fart.

6. Cats, too.

7. If weekends could be 3 days instead of two. I feel like we always need a second Sunday or something.

8. If public pools could not be so crowded on weekends so I could enjoy them.

9. If yard work could do itself.

10.  If I could be really good (and fast) at knitting overnight.

Yes. These things would make me really happy. But you know... I love my family. I love my husband. I love my baby.  I love my dogs. I even love the stupid cat.... and these are the things that make up my life, so... despite the fact that many things aren't ideal right now, I love my life. I will continue to love my life even if it means living in this house (that I really do not love....) for another year.

When Old Ladies Deserve Punches to the Face

Friday evening Jon and I had plans to go to Hale Theater with my mom. It's kind of our thing, every year the three of us get season tickets and we enjoy going and seeing their little productions. (Well OK... we almost always enjoy going. Urinetown was in fact the worst play I've ever seen in... ever. It was awful. Whoever picked that one should be fired. Are you listening, Hale Theater?) Jon was working at Ruff House until 7pm, so my mom and I decided to grab dinner and watch TV at her house between her getting off work at 5 and meeting at the theater at 7:15pm. A bean burrito sounded really good to me, and we decided on Rubio's. Since I live pretty close to it, the plan was for me to just pick it up and meet at my Mom's.
So, off I went. It was just after 5pm so there was a bit of a line. I noticed a sweet looking old couple of (my guess) about 75 years old hobbling in behind me, and thought to myself "How cute." (I have this thing for little old couples, I think they're adorable, especially when they look so happy.) Since there was a line anyway, I didn't cut my phone conversation short until the person ahead of me was ordering. I don't stay on the phone while ordering food or checking out at the store because it's rude, so then my conversation went like this:
"Oh hey, I'm next up to order, can I can you back when I'm in the car?"
>Sure, no problem. Where are you eating?
"Rubios. I guess my baby was craving a burrito! I'll call you soon."
*click*

I didn't think anything of it, so I was a little confused when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Upon turning around, this cute little old lady said with disgust: "Well do you at least have a boyfriend that's going to make it right, or are you going to do the right thing and give that baby up for adoption?" There I stood, several people staring at the encounter, completely confused.
"Um. Excuse me?" What the heck was this woman talking about? I actually thought she was making some kind of abortion reference before she clarified, which completely disgusted me, especially considering I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy.
Her (pointing at my BARELY there belly) "Your baby. Do you at least have a boyfriend who is going to marry you to make this right, or are you going to give that baby to a proper family?"


Now, I don't wear my wedding rings right now. I desperately need to get them resized because they're too big and since I lost so much weight during this pregnancy I'm so afraid of losing them because they fall off so easily. I can only assume this is why she assumed I wasn't married, or my mom said I look really young when I don't wear makeup (which I wasn't. I hardly ever do.) but either way, the inaccurate assumption was made I was in fact single.

I stood there, in awe that this little old lady who looked so sweet, was being SO insanely rude, confused as to why I was being so rudely called out on something that wasn't even the case and EVEN IF IT WERE would be none of anyone's business, especially some stranger in line. Still trying to wrap my head around the situation, and taking note that it was my turn to go order, I replied "Not that it's ANY of YOUR business, but my HUSBAND of four years and I could not be more thrilled to be expecting!" And with that, I turned and walked to the register where I placed my order, and then joined the small group of other to-go order people waiting by the salsa bar for their food. I felt embarrassed though looking back I had absolutely no reason to be. I didn't do anything wrong. It was just awkward. The couple went to the opposite side of the building, by the exit door to wait for their food rather than waiting where everyone else was. I HOPE she was embarrassed too. I HOPE she realized how out of line she was.
I got in my car (and promptly started stuffing my face with chips and salsa) and was a weird mixture of annoyed, embarrassed, and in general just bothered that someone would make those assumptions. I am excited to have a belly that doesn't just look fat now, and this was the first time a stranger has ever acknowledged the fact I'm pregnant, it's not how I thought it would go.

I'm not sure what part of her clearly dysfunctional brain told her that it was appropriate to ask such a question. Sometimes I get *SO* annoyed with the ignorant, unaccepting bubble culture that is Utah Valley. It's obnoxious. I'm not sure if it's her generation, though I like to think that surely my grandparents have more sense than to do something like that. I can't honestly wrap my mind around her thought process. The more I try the more annoyed I am that there are actually people in the world like that.

What lessons can we learn here, folks?
1. Never, under any circumstances, is it OK to butt into a stranger's personal life, even if you are an ignorant, judgmental jackass. Whatever you're thinking.... whatever you're judging... keep it to yourself and know there's a high chance you're probably WRONG anyway. Even if I WERE some 14 year old tramp and not a happily married and stable 23 year old, she'd STILL be out of line.

2. Happily married people sometimes don't wear wedding rings. Maybe they lost them. Maybe they're too big or too small. Maybe they just left from a job that doesn't allow jewelry. None of your business.

3. Sometimes, even cute little old ladies deserve punches to the face. Though I OF COURSE would never do it. Sometimes, they deserve it, because even they can be completely rude idiots. I don't care how old and cute you are, you can't get away with being THAT freaking ignorant.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I love my family.

I don't think I can say it enough: I love my family. I mean, I've got the best dang family in the history of the universe.
This week was our yearly trip to Lake Powell which is pretty much my most favorite week of the entire year. Absolutely nothing beats being out on the lake, beautiful scenery, OFF the grid, no internet, no cell phones, just boats, sand, water, and family. No agenda. Nowhere to be. For me, there is no place I'd rather be, no vacation I'd rather take than a trip to Lake Powell with the people I love the most. I'd take it over an amusement park with the best rides, over an exotic resort getaway, over anything.
As we were preparing to go... and I must say, a LOT of work goes into prepping equipment for a boating trip, especially for a week long trip... I couldn't help but feel lucky to be a part of the family I am. As we pulled into my grandparent's driveway, and had all the trucks and boats lined up for final checks, ready to head out I wondered what my life would be like if I had been born into a different family. I mean, boating is my favorite thing in the world.  What if I didn't have the incredible grandparents I have? What if I didn't have all of those wonderful memories on the High Flyer growing up? Surely my life would still be great, I mean there are other enjoyable experiences... but the idea of not having that does make me sad. Those are my most cherished memories, and I would not have them if not for my grandparents. I'm thankful for the memories and the people in them. I'm thankful that Jon and I are able to have a boat of our own, so that my kids will be able to have lake memories of their own. I'm looking forward to sharing that simple joy with Chase next Summer, and every Summer after. But, if not for my grandpa and my brother... there's NO WAY Jon and I would have a boat of our own on the water. No. Way. Jon is new to boating the way we do, and I'm new to the responsibilities of boat ownership and we have so much to learn. When things don't run smoothly, we are completely lost without the help and direction of Mitch and grandpa. There's no way we'd be able to pay a mechanic every time we had a question about our boat. There's no way we'd be able to learn how to handle the situations that come up on the water without them. What if I had a different family? What if I didn't have a brother so willing to teach and help? I would not be able to give my future kids those boating memories I hope they will grow to cherish the way I do mine. What a sad thought. I am thankful it's not the case.
Every member of my family is important to me. I am excited to finally be able to go to Texas next month and visit my sister. I've never seen where her little family lives, and it's about time I do because hopefully they will be able to move here to Utah in the next couple years. I can not fathom a life with a different family, and I feel so lucky to be a part of mine. I don't know many families that can spend a week stranded on a little patch of sand together and leave still wanting to spend more time together, but mine can... and does. In fact, we just got home last night and we are already getting together again later tonight, and planning a camping trip for next weekend.
I have great friends. I have a handful of friends that I consider family, even. I'm so lucky to have so many great people in my life. But this week, I can't help but feel overwhelmingly happy that I have the family I do, AND that I also married into a family of amazing people as well. Double score.
So. Mom. Grandparents. Siblings. Please know... I kinda sorta like y'all. Even if you are completely nuts. 

20 Weeks. Half Baked!!

The last two weeks have been the absolute best of this entire pregnancy by a lot. Let me tell you the ways!
First of all.... those eight solid weeks of constant puking and losing 21 lbs seems to be over. I can eat food again. I seriously began to wonder if I was ever going to be able to eat food, or not feel lethargic again. Alas, the light at the end of the tunnel has arrived, and it's wonderful. I get sick SOMETIMES but it's not at all the constant battle it was. I had two "bad days" this week, which means I had FIVE glorious good days. Amazing.
Second of all.... this little man is active as all get out, and every time I feel him move and wiggle, I am so amazed at the whole process. Fascinated by it, really. 40 weeks is not THAT long. (well, OK, so it feels like a lifetime but in the big picture it's not) The fact a whole person can be made in 40 weeks just boggles my mind. Anyway, not only am *I* feeling Chase wiggle and move on a very regular basis, but it's not bold enough movement Jon (and my mom) have been able to feel it too. It's fun to share that with the people I love, it makes it all that much more real.
Third of all... we spent a week at Lake Powell. Lake Powell is pretty much my happy place. Whoever said Disneyland is the happiest place on earth has never spent an afternoon floating in peace, cut away from society and soaking in the scenery and sunshine. I won't go on about that, as I will do a whole Lake Powell post here soon but... it's JUST what I needed. Seriously.
Fourth... we are completely back on track to planning and hoping for the home birth we have wanted. We both feel SO at peace with this decision we made over two years ago. Every little ounce of anxiety I had regarding the prenatal care I was getting at the OB office is gone. It feels fantastic to be back on track. :-)




How far along? 20 weeks! Finally!

How big is baby? According to the tracker, he's about the size of a banana.

Total weight gain/loss: -16. (142) I finally started gaining... I actually gained 3lbs this week while at the lake. I'm amazed at how much my body has changed the last two weeks- but especially the last week. I obviously don't want to keep the pace of 3lbs a week the rest of the pregnancy (oh my goodness... can you imagine?!) but I am happy to see the scales going in the right direction at this point.

Maternity clothes? Not quite. I haven't tried my jeans on since I got home... but yoga pants are still comfy. A lot of my clothes have quite a bit of give anyway, or can be worn lower off my tummy, so even though I do suddenly have a belly, I haven't had to graduate to maternity clothes yet.

Sleep: Still sleeping better than usual and on a more "normal" schedule. I'm loving it!

Best moment the last two weeks: Movement finally being strong enough for Jon to feel it from the outside. I'm so glad I can finally share that part of this experience with him.

Movement: The last week and a half I'm feeling movement very regularly when I lay still. It's the most incredible feeling.

Food cravings: Not really having cravings other than cucumbers, which I swear I could live off of. I'm happy to be home and have access to real, fresh foods again. Now that I have a blender again I'm getting back into the smoothie routine.

Food Aversions: Anything leafy. It's a texture thing, rather than taste. I plan to attempt cooked cabbage tonight though, wish me luck! Also, plain water went down great at the Lake. In that heat an ice cold drink of water is incredible... but now that I'm home, it's back to tummy-churning. 

Gender: Boy. <3

Pregnancy Symptoms: I'm very happy to say that I'm feeling SO. MUCH. BETTER. Nausea still hits me a couple times a day, and I'm still throwing up a few times a week, but that's nothing compared to before. I have gotten quite a bit of my energy back and don't feel so drained all the time thanks to the fact I'm actually getting calories in now.
I do feel a little off emotionally still. Not bad, not depressed just... really anti-social. I don't want to really talk to anyone or be around anyone and it has nothing to do with them, at all. I just enjoy the quiet of being alone or with Jon. I do want Jon around pretty much 150% of the time, which obviously can't happen.
Other than that, I feel pretty good!

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss: Nothing. I don't miss anything about pre-pregnancy anymore. I'm so excited about this next chapter, I'm living in the now, and looking forward.

What I am looking forward to: Hmm, I can't believe how many of the milestones I've already hit. It's exciting to think about being in the third trimester, the home stretch! That's quite a ways off though.

Upcoming appointments/events: We have a birth forum on Aug 13 to go hear from other people who have used the midwife we picked, and my next appointment is Aug 20. I hope to schedule a full anatomy scan before then since the one at my OB's office fell through due to them being complete idiots. We'll see, though. I'm feeling really at peace with everything right now and not too anxious. Besides, the last thing I really want is some false positive to stress over the next 20 weeks. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. All I can do is make healthy choices for my body and my baby and go with it.

Milestones: So far: made it through first trimester, had first (and second) ultrasound, and discovered gender, and felt movement, Jon has felt movement from outside, belly popped finally

Bump Picture: 

Progression pic coming soon.